Adolecent Ignorance--Actually, We Were In College

We were bored so we decided to get off campus and see what we could get into. Although we were all 20+ we decided to go (word we buried)-knocking. In case you’re not familiar with this, you just run up to people’s homes, knock on the door or beat on the window really hard, run off somewhere where you can see them and they can’t see you and laugh when they come to the door looking for whomever they thought was at the door. Sounds right foolish when you put it on paper, but for us it was amusing. So that was the plan this particular Thursday night, which is college night at one of the local haunts, but we decided we weren’t in the mood for that.

We headed to Teon’s house since he was a native and parked. We chose to walk a few streets over from where he lived so we’d be somewhere we people in the neighborhood might not know who he was and tell his mom. We began knocking on doors and running. It was all good until this one dude didn’t think it was funny and he fired a gun in the air. It was just a warning shot, but it scared the hell out of me. The sight of the spark that the gun made in the still of that crisp autumn night is forever indelibly etched in my mind. Think I didn’t show Carl Lewis up that night? I ran like it was no tomorrow. All three of us did. When we stopped running we huddled on a street near a wooded area to catch our breath and to each express how frightening it was to hear and see the flicker of that gun. This is not the first time we had engaged in behavior like this, but this was the first time someone fired a shot. The most someone had ever done up until this day was throw something through their window. That particular night when we walked off, we were laughing like, that’s their dumb azz cause they gotta fix that window.

Anyway, that night after we caught our breath we still hadn’t had enough, but we decided to table the (word we buried)-knocking for the night. At the time not too far from the wooded area where we huddled the land was being prepared for construction. You know how they push that dirt around for like 2 months before you actually see any pipes in the ground or concrete blocks? Yeah, that’s what it looked like. Behind that was an old folks home that had already been built. There was one of those big dump trucksout there. Antwan decided to get in the truck (at me and Teon’s behest) and start it up and run it into the old folks’ home. Someone had left the keys in the truck so that’s how he was gonna be able to start it. He tried to turn the engine over like three times but he couldn’t get it to come on. It would make the sound like it was going to crank, but it wouldn’t completely fire. Apparently, the people in the old folks home were watching us because we saw the blinds flutter and soon heard sirens.

We ran like hell across the dirt that was there for the grocery store and into the wooded area that we huddled at earlier. There were like three cop cars because we saw the blue lights as we were dipping off in the woods. Of course I think I’m smarter than the police so I was like we need to run in the water so in case they have dogs they will lose our scent. Let a joker watch one episode of Matlock. Anyway, we heard footsteps that were not our own. We figured the police were on foot trying to scare us. There weren’t probably really gonna traipse through the woods to find us but they were definitely gonna try to rattle us. But me, I’m not gonna be rattled—even when I’m in the wrong. To a fault I can be wrong and strong and think nothing of it. We were navigating the woods but being ever so careful as not to make too much noise. We were signally each other and all trying to make sure that we all made it out of this thing safely. Eventually we no longer heard the additional footsteps so we figured the coast was clear. We ran up out of the woods and got back on the main street. (Ladynaynay this happened on the corner of Rock Quary and Raleigh Blvd just as a point of reference.)

Me still over analyzing things and thinking that I was “on the run” suggested that we all switch shirts and try to make ourselves look different in case the po-po rolled past looking for three black guys who fit our description. The realism is that if they did roll past they still would have known that it was us, but in my mind I thought I was one-upping the man. We just needed take our azzes home and do some studying.

Once we got back to T’s house we did ride back up to the scene of the crime and the police were still there. There was only one car now, but we really felt like we had beaten the man. We rolled on the Waffle House, (by the way if you don’t know bout the Waffle House shame one you) got a bite to eat and tripped about the events of the day.

Continued

Day 3 - So now it's Saturday. My first session started at 8:15 a.m. I woke up around 7:48 (kinda weird how I remember times so exactly) and got dressed. I walked out my room at 8:15 headed to the session. Nothing to report from the sessions. I started getting antsy around 5ish and called Michelle to see where she was. I called twice and got no answer. If I call you twice and don't get an answer, you're as good as left. I hopped on the train to run a few errands around town. I needed some shampoo and stuff like that. At some point she called to see where I was and was disappointed that I "left her." I told her that I called twice, but she said she didn't get the calls. While I was out I saw this older black guy on the street passing out campaign flyers in support of Hillary Clinton. The other people on the street to whom he offered the flyers were quite disrepectful to this man. Some even went so far as to curse him out because he was supporting the candidate of his choice. The people were making derogatory remarks about him and insisted that he was supporting the wrong candidate. I need to mention that the people acting up like this all looked like me, just so that you can paint that mental picture of the scene.

I was still tired from the night before but agreed to an area called the West End to grab a bite to eat. I thoroughly enjoyed my meal. Prior to arriving at the restaurant there were a whole lot of people trying to hustle stuff on the streets--flowers, horse rides, candy and food. It was unreal. I can't recall how many times I said no that night. Since I was already beat when we got back to the hotel I just crashed for the night.

Day 4 -Michelle left this morning. It's Sunday. What does any good Baptist boy do on Sunday mornings? You guessed it. I went to church. I looked up a couple of churches on a black church directory website but then I remembered about the Potter's House under the effacious leadership of the renowned Bishop T.D. Jakes. I called a cab to take me. It was almost $30 one way. I went ahead and did it since I don't know when the next time is that I'll ever return to Dallas. The cab driver was wildin'. He was going off because he said the bellmen downstairs wouldn't give him the "good" trips like to the airport or the Galleria Mall where he would make $30-40 one way. The bellman approached the window once I was inside the cab and asked the cab driver if he had a number. I wasn't clear on what they were talking about, but I did know that he wasn't really asking him for a number. Those cabs are out there every single day. Why would he not already know the numbers to all the cab services who frequent the hotel? The cab driver later explained to me that it was code to ask if he intended on bribing the bellman to get one of the good jobs. The cab driver shared with me that he was Muslim and participating in any form of bribery is against his religion. I told him it wasn't necessarily bribery so much as it is the way business is transacted in a capitalistic society. If you want preferrential treament, you pay a premium. People who fly first class are not bribing Delta for the good seats; they are paying the cost.

Once I arrived at the church there was a seemingly never ending flow of people from teh church to the parking lot. It looked like a number that no man could number*. I got there in between services. I had to wait about 30 minutes before the next service began. The service was pretty good although Bishop Jakes didn't preach. He hurt his back in the earlier service so they just showed the DVD of him preacing from the earlier service. The guy who was MCing the service was pretty funny.

Day 5 - I woke up Monday knowing that this was my last day in town and realized that I hadn't done any of the tourist stuff. I went to the infamous grassy knoll and the book depository from where the shot that killed JFK allegedly came. The grassy knoll area is so small. I thought it was going to be the expansive space, but it's really not. I went downtown to another mall and this guy who was selling on the street directed me to some other touristy (I made that up) stuff that in which I might be interested. When I made it in that night a friend of mine who I had called earlier in the day called me back to let me know he actually was coming into Dallas for a few days. I wish he would have arrived sooner, but alas. We kept missing each other, but we met up later that night for drinks. The time got away from us and I drug my tired azz back to my hotel knowing that when I awoke I'd have to pack and start the process of getting back to the boro.

My luggage didn't arrive with me and I just got it this morning around 12:48 a.m. from the delivery service. I had to bum a ride to work yesterday. On top of that the friend who was supposed to take me home didn't come through. To say I was pissed would be the understatement of the decade. I know in friendship and relationships we don't do things to keep score, but the one time I actually need you you don't come through. That does not a happy James make. Although she knew in advance that I needed her to pick me up she texted me on the day I was to return to town to tell me that she had a meeting. Not even a phone call--a text. I can forgive her, but it's gonna cause me to pull back. Not that I'm out for vengance, but she better not need anything anytime soon.

*There's a prize for the first person who can tell me who made that statement.

Action!

It is difficult for other people to understand why I'm not all gung-ho about going home for the holidays. I realize that most people want nothing more than to be with their families during this time of year. However, for me, I'm not feeling the holidays like that. As a matter of fact, I choose not to go home very often because I have so many issues with some of the things going on there. Perhaps most people grew up in with a nice home environment. That is not the context from which I draw my lived experience. Moreover, I believe that it is because most people had a "normal" home life, that they find it hard to understand when someone from a dysfunctional situation chooses to distance themselves from home.

For one, my mother's husband (until I see a blood test I won't call him my f____r), has had both legs amputated and is blind and still calls himself "pastoring" a church. He needs to sit down somewhere. How can someone in his condition effectively lead a flock of parishoners? On top of the health issues, he has so many psychological issues that it is not funny. I dont' have the emotional energy right now to go into detail, but suffice it to say ole dude is crazy. The sad part is that he thinks it's everyone else--a hallmark of people in his mental state.

The reason most people cannot wrap their minds around someone adamantly refusing to be involved in home life is because of what I call "The Script." Society has written a stage play in which our roles are defined, complete with stage directions. According to the script, any dutiful son should be home with family, sitting around the fireplace reminiscing on days gone by. I'd much rather skip meals for three days. (Anyone who knows me knows how much I love to eat.) People who deviate from the script are labeled as social misfits by society. I do not apologize for deviating from the script. If anyone had a home life like I had, and I realize that other people had it so much worse, then they would understand why I choose to exit stage left, rather than move in closer.

I have no desire to have a relationship with that man. He keeps calling me and I keep ignoring his calls. Last night I was duped into answering the phone. I have his number stored as Don't Answer, but for some reason I looked at the digits instead of the words and hit the talk button. As soon as the interrogation began I had regretted not reading, after all, reading is fundamental. The question about why I haven't returned calls came up. So as not to have a heated discussion in front of my company I simply said I'd been busy. Of course, he didn't like that answer and asked me if I was angry with him. That's the understatement of the freakin' decade. I didn't even have language to have that conversation with him so I had to end it so that my attitude wouldn't be bad, since I was on my way out.

When I talk to some of my friends about how I feel they try to tell me how I should feel and what I should do. I am not interested in how you think I should feel or what you think I should do. That's why I rarely discuss it because most people simply cannot wrap their minds around the decisions that I have made with respect to this situation. Their advice always heads toward trying to talk to him and getting over it, etc. I really can't be mad at them because those are the types of answers that should be given to someone based on what is printed in the script. What they don't understand is that the copy of the script that I received was markedly different from the ones that they read. One of my friends claims to "get it" but at the same time always remarks about how she thinks I'm wrong for this and that. That means that you DON'T get it!! What annoys me is that people want me to detail some life-shattering event that caused me to feel such resentment toward him. Since no single event exists (i.e. molestation, abuse, drug use,etc.) that would be considered "bad" enough for me to feel this way, people dismiss how I feel. Again, the script dictates that there had to be some capital offense before you can say that a parent is not worthy of your time, rather than the sum of all the years of your existence, with every passing day spent with a person more miserable that the previous.

When I am done with someone I am done. Come hell or high water. It is over. Finished. (Notice the pattern 5-3-1). The part I hate most is that I have withdrawn from my mother as well. She likes to encourage me to speak to him as well. That type of behavior only makes me reluctant to call her as well. As a matter of fact, it makes me resentful on some level, as she should clearly understand why I feel and behave this way. She's just a Christian though. It doesn't matter what someone has done, she believes in forgiveness. I do too. However, I subscribe to a brand of forgiviness that does not require that I still interact with the offender. I can wash my hands of you and be fine. Truthfully, when he's no longer in the picture I'll make up for this lost time between my mother and I. Given his health, I don't think it should be much longer.

VIP

So yesterday I headed down to Charlotte to hang out with my friend Tonya. (I can't remember the fake name I used so I'll just use the real one. Makes life easier.) She's down there on business for about two weeks. She called me about 8:30 a.m. Saturday morning to see if I wanted to come down. I was feeling kinda sick so I told her I would let her know. As a matter of fact I was supposed to hang out Friday night with some peeps but I let my boy know that I was having the runny nose/fever/cough/need-to-head-this-off-before-it-gets-worse thing going on. I ended up just staying in Friday night taking some Sudafed and drinking some lemon tea.

Let me do a short thing on lemon tea. Every time I get sick this is what I use to open my sinuses and to help break up the phlegm that needs to come up so that you can get better. All you need to do is roll some lemons and squeeze the juice in some water. Put the squeezed lemon halves in the water too and boil it on the stove. Add a teaspoon of sugar of Karo syrup--I guess you could actually use the sweetener of your choice but only use about a teaspoon just to take the edge off. (Ending two sentences with prepositions--JayBee you MUST be sick! Look back up at the bold words.)

Anyway after I got my haircut I and threw some stuff in a bag I headed down to Charlotte to hang. When I arrived I went to her hotel. I was not pleased. The hotel is called The Blake. It looks like an old LaQuinta Inn that the new owners have not yet gotten around to renovating. The plan was for me to crash there for the night, but once I arrived I made a quick decision to stay at the Omni. We left the hotel to grab a bite to eat. If you're ever in Charlotte you must try one of her most famous dives called Price's Chicken Coop. The locals affectionately refer to it as the "Chicken Coot". From there we headed to South Park mall. As we were leaving the mall we heard music wafting through the air and decided to investigate. They were having a jazz in the park type festival on the back side of the mall on a grassy knoll. The parking was kinda hectic so I decided to go to the VIP parking area. The attendant asked if we had the appropriate pass. I told him that I did not, but that I wished to park in the area anyway. He paused and then he relented. He told me what space to take and basically to act like I was supposed to be there. Tonya and I said that he must not know who we were because that would be a small feat.

We stayed for about 15 minutes because of the impromptu nature of this deviation from our plan less day. Everyone else had blankets, coolers, buckets of KFC, lawn chairs, etc. When we got back downtown we parked and decided to walk. Some stranger on the street asked me if I had change for one million dollars. I was in disbelief. I almost came to tears because he said it with such conviction. We decided to go to Ruth's Chris for dinner. When we arrived the hostess asked if we had a reservation. I told her no. She said all that was available right now was the bar and the patio. My body language let her know that I didn't find that acceptable. She said she'd go ahead and seat us in the dining room after I motioned Tonya toward the door. When we go to our seats we panned the restaurant. TUMBLEWEEDS. There was hardly anyone there. I think of about 50 tables maybe three had guests seated at them. Who was she trying to fool like it was standing room only in that joint. I knew there was no one there when we got there because it was so quiet.

I dropped her off at her hotel and I checked into the mine. I showered and got dressed to go out. After checking out a couple of spots downtown we ended up at The Forum. While waiting in line I decided to find out how much it was for the VIP line. Dude said $20 and you still have to pay the $10 cover. I was straight on that cause the regular line wasn't that long. After about two minutes the dude called me over and told me that I couldn't go inside with my hat on and to hide it. So I did and he motioned for Tonya and let us in the VIP line for free. There probably about 15 people in front of us and I'm sure they were wondering who we were.

It was a mixed crowd so I was feeling that part. The music was kinda wack for most of the night, but the mixed crowd thing was definitely a plus. I get tired of waiting on the fight/shootout at all black clubs. There were some people about to get in a fight and of course they all looked like me. I just don't get it. I'm JayBee bitch! After we got tired of the wackness of the music we posted up outside and went down to another club. We could hear the music from outside and it was even worse! I was not kicking out any more dough for another wack DJ Fumblefingers. Our purpose wasn't to meet people. We just went to have a good time. Here are some pics for your viewing pleasure.


With shades.


Here I am with red eyes.


Tonya thought she was the stuff last night!


Have a great week! Oh and I didn't mention that we all but got cussed out on the job on Thursday, but that's a whole 'nother post. See ya.

While You Were Out

I'm reclining in my bed as I type this post. I got off the road a little while ago from the A. I don't know what it is but I absolutely positively love the A. Yesterday evening I had dinner with a former coworker and one of her homegirls. The homegirl was cute. She was a little light skinned shorty with a fatty with relatively small breasts. They were cute and perky though. I wasn't pressed, but I asked her if she was hitched and she let me know that indeed she had locked her down a dude. I was thinking to myself, "Did you lock him down or did he lock you down?" Anyway dinner was straight and the convo was light and friendly. For those of you familiar with Atlanta we ate at Strip. When we finished eating, we went upstairs to chill/people watch for a few before we parted ways. When I got back to my hotel I had a friend roll through so we could "chill." The evening ended pretty good. Good azz and banging head. The head was actually ahead of the game. Was that corny?

On the way back the man stopped me again and gave me a speeding ticket. I maintain that I get these tickets because I'm black. It has absolutely nothing to do with how fast they allege that I was driving. That's $180 that I can flush down the toilet.

Also last night Chris Brown was downstairs at the bar of the hotel and the night before Usher walked by me as I was trying to check into the hotel. (Actually I was on my way to the bathroom while the guy behind the desk was verifying my reservation and running my card for incidentals.) He was with a female. I presume it was the woman he married last weekend. I didn't get a really good look at her though. I did scan to see if anyone else appeared to be with them and it didn't look like he was with an entourage.

On the job front I was recently made chair of the leadership team. My principal came up to me Friday telling me all this stuff I needed to do. I was like I'll handle it next week. I am not doing anything at 2:30 on Friday afternoon when we get off work at 3:45. I actually left at about 2:45, but you know what I'm sayin'.

My mind just jumped back to the celebrities. Did I tell ya'll that I want to be someone's personal assistant? Not because I see myself as a flunkie, but because I just want to be able to get into all the premiers and travel and whatnot. If I get a decent offer ($75,000) I'll hand in my letter of resignation "with all deliberate speed".*

In other news I started a campaign to lose some weight back in July. I actually have hit the 150 goal mark. I think I want to continue to about 148 just to be safe. I'll keep a good check on my weight and whenever I reach 152, I'll kick it into high gear to lose those extra 2-4 pounds. Now I just need to build some muscle so that I can be sho nuff fine! I mean if I'm moving to the A, I got to look good because I'm sure there's much competition.

Meanwhile I loaned a friend a few bucks that he promised to return this past weekend. Of course I haven't heard from him and I'm not going to call him anytime soon. If it goes for another two weeks I'll probably give him a call and request the funds. Whether he return the money at that point or not, it is safe to say that his credit is damaged with me. The realism is if you cannot meet an obligation to which you have previously agreed, have the decency to pick up the phone and let the creditor (in this case me) know the situation. I am very forgiving. I mean, I wouldn't loan someone something that would have me in dire straits. By not giving me a call though to let me know what's going on, it makes me feel that you'd rather shirk your responsibilities than to man up and take care of your business.

*A prize goes to whoever can tell me what popularized that particular phrase.

On the grind

So I'm doing the exercise and eat right/portion control thing. It is slowly working to help me reach my goal. So far I've been able to---
Jim Lehr: Hold it! We interrupt this blog posting to bring you some breaking news straight out of the channel seven news room.
Kathy Minks: This just in Jim. JayBee joined a gym.
Jim Lehr: Kathy what did you say? He joined a gym? Are you sure? That doesn't sound like him.
Kathy: Well, Jim, it's true. He actually paid an enrollment fee and joined a gym. And get this, he's been going everyday.
Jim: What does he do when he gets there?
Kathy: Sources close to JayBee say that he's doing aerobics and such and also messing around with some weights. It's an attempt to let Mr. Timberlake know that he isn't the only one.
Jim: The only one what, Kathy?
Kathy: That can bring sexy back (here). Kathy Minks channel seven news room signing off. Back to you Jim.
Jim: Well there you have it folks. JayBee is trying get in shape. We now rejoin the regularly scheduled blog posting already in progress.

I want to lose weight for my long term health. When I signed on to the 50 million pound challenge web site and put in my weight and height I realized that I am labeled as overweight. As my principal would say, "We cain't (not can't but cain't) haa (have) dat!"

I won't pretend that I haven't done some of the no-nos like eating fried foods. I had some Captain D's last night. I can say though that I don't eat those things daily--at most I'd eat something like that once a week. Funny thing is while I'm eating it for whatever reason I don't enjoy it like I used to because I feel guilty knowing that what I'm eating is not a part of what I should be eating. Anyway let me stop obsessing about portion sizes and cruches lest someone think there's a anorexic white girl trapped in my body attempting to break free.

This past weekend I helped one of my friends (Tracey) move into her new apartment. She was just moving from the first floor to the second floor. She and her roommate decided to go their separate ways, but it was an amicable ending. Prior to me arriving she had told me that most of the stuff had already been moved. I was skeptical because I know her and I know her kind. When I arrived I had some words for her! I couldn't beleive that she hadn't really packed as much as she could have and I couldn't believe that she thought the dining room table and chairs constituted "most". Once we got everything moved in we went to Chilli's to grab a bite to eat. (Not on the meal plan). When I woke up the next morning I went for a swim and to exercise in the onsite weight room. When I got back Tracey's mom fixed Newguy and I some banging turkey and cheese omletes. (Newguy is my friend's new beau. I'm not sure she's really into Newguy. I think she's just tired of being single. A couple of months ago Newguy wrecked her car, but that's a whole 'nother blog.). Later that day Tracey, her mom, Newguy and I went to the farmer's market to get some fresh veggies for lunch. We came back to the apartment and Tracey's mom cooked some squash, potatoes and we had some store bought, albeit succulent rotisserie chicken. (also not on the meal plan).That evening we met a mutual friend at Twisted Fork at Triangle Towne Center. I've never really been a fan of this place but Tracey likes it so I agreed. What's friendship without compromise? I had a cuban panini that had a thick stack of ham slices, pork loin, cheese and toasted bread on each side. (definetely not on the meal plan). We made plans to go to the movies the next day.

I had a workshop to attend from 8:30a-4:30p. We had bagels and cream cheese and stuff like that to snack on in addition to sodas, coffee and water to drink. I happen to like bagels and cream cheese so I helped myself to two. I also had a little Sprite and water to drink. (more stuff not on the meal plan). Before going to the movies that evening Tracey and I went to Firebirds or something like that at North Hills. I only ordered a salad, but still not on the meal plan. When I got back to Greensboro to weigh in, I had gained two pounds back that I had lost. Two pounds in one weekend! I must stick to my plan. I love hanging in Raleigh, but I cannot lose weight if I eat like that when I'm there. What makes it so bad is that I actually packed all the stuff I would need to eat for the few days that I was scheduled to be down there. I somehow though, never got around to that stuff.