I'm Gonna Get U Sucka!

So, today at school we had a lot of kids either absent or sign out early to go home. Apparently there was a rumor floating around that some boy was going to blow up the school. Then, there was this other rumor that another boy was going to shoot up the school. These competing rumors had several students on edge. It was kind of odd to me because of the culture of our school. To understand what I'm talking about think "Lean On Me" and you have the idea of the type of school at which I work. (I almost wrote "...that I work in", but the compulsive grammar freak that lies within wouldn't let me end a sentence with a preposition) How can these bad azz wanna be gangstas be afraid because someone made a threat? Now, I realize we live in a different world now and that we have to take threats that people make seriously. I was just taken aback that these hardcore wanna be thugs would be running scared!

They have this saying that they use called, "..testin' my gangsta." Let me use it in a scenario in case you've never heard it or don't know what it means.

Person one: If you don't shut up I'm gonna slap you.
Person two: You're gonna slap who? You ain't gonna slap nobody.
Person one: Don't be testing my gangsta!

I guess it's like don't test me to see whether or not I'm brave or have heart. Well anyway, like I said a lot of them stayed home or left early. I can't wait until Monday to let them know that someone threatened them and instead of them staying at school they ran like some #*&^!@%. It did make for an easy day though.

A Change Gonna Come

One of my favorite artists is Sam Cooke. Even though he recorded albums long before my arrival on earth, I like the way the songs he sang seem to just have been tailor made for him. Today I've been listening to his greatest hits cd. That's where the inspiration came from for the title.

The job: One of the persons who works with me will not be returning this year. Of course this is not the only person who will not be returning, but this person holds a pretty high position in the school. Now that she will not be returning, I'm curious as to who will be found to replace her and what things they can bring to the position. The person who is currently in the position does a good job, but she is overworked and underpaid. There just isn't enough time in the day for her to do everything. Well actually, there would be enough time if she did only the things that were in her job description instead of being given administrative tasks to do all the time. Without out the extra work she would be in a better position to focus on what she should be doing--helping teachers.

I haven't checked in much on the home front lately. One of the main reasons is that I just don't want too much to do with that down there. I disagree with the decision that my mother made, but I do respect it. We each have to live our own lives and people need to do what they feel is best for them. Because I disagree and I don't have very much nice to say to or about him*, I just don't call very much because I'm just not feeling it at all. I'm not bitter. I'm just not feeling it, if that makes any sense. some might argue that I must be bitter, but that isn't the case. When I turn your page, then it's over. Come hell or high water, it's over!

I did learn that the doctors were recommending amputation one of his* toes or either one of his* feet. This may seem harsh, but I really only want my brothers and sisters to call me about his* situation when it is near death. Call me when we he's* on life support and we need to make a decision. Of course, I'm voting to pull the plug. My argument, should that time arise, will be that we must "...accept what God allows."

Lord if there is any hatred in my heart, please remove it. I can honestly say that there is no hatred that I perceive. But, if there is, I would like it moved because I know that I can't make it in that way. (If you don't know what I'm referring to by make it in, I mean Heaven.) One of the truest sayings on earth is that time heals all wounds. I'm still healing. It's still gonna take a while.

FYI, one of the things that I need to add to my list of dislikes is a hypocrite. I absolutely cannot stand a hypocrite! That is one of the non profane words that I can use to describe him*. He absolutely embodies the term.

I'm not going to expend energy though being upset. I'm going to find ways to heal so that I will not repeat the mistakes of the past and be the best man that I can be. At the end of the day, that's all I want. I want to be the type of man of whom God and my mother can be proud. The realism is, I'm learning a little more about becoming that man each day. I constantly learn more things about myself.

Off the subject, my back is still hurting a little bit. I presume it's from that fall that I had a few weeks back.

The African Children's Choir

So, I've slacked off on the posting. What else is new? Today I graded some papers, keyed in the grades and tomorrow I'm going to distribute progress reports to anyone in my AFM class who is failing. We don't want to have any drama toward the end of the nine weeks. I had a filling meal today of not tender enough roast, macaroni and cheese, okra, rice and gravy.

Yesterday a colleague invited me to attend a performance at a sister/partner church of theirs in Durham. Me and some others went down and the performance was unlike anything I had ever seen. It was the African Children's Choir in concert. If you aren't familiar with the ACC, every 15 months a new choir is commissioned with new children. Typically the childrens' ages range from 10 - 12. In this year's cohort there are 9 males and 12 females. The children hail from Uganda, Rwanda and various other countries in Africa. The inaugural choir first performed in 1984. The children travel around the US singing and raising money to send back to African to fund research into stopping the spread of AIDS and to helping find a cure. While the children stay here in the US they study, pray, rehearse their songs and are involved in academic pursuits.

Because the children are of African origin, the children donned intricate stage clothes and their songs were accompanied by dance that I assume is real "African" dance--definitely no Americanized.

Blow by blow

Monday: Went to drop off my W-2 forms to an old coworker of mine. Her mate does taxes and had agreed to prepare mine. Dropped clothes off at the cleaners, which by the way is no longer the $1.50 cleaners but is now the $1.60 cleaners. I had never been to this cleaners before, but I had seen it. When I got inside the first thing I saw was a large sign that said payment must be made when you put the clothes in to be cleaned. I thought it odd that I had to pay before I received the service.

Tuesday: Chilled at home. Cooked me some salmon patties, rice and corn. It was banging. Procrastinated about some work that I had to turn in, then finally got started on it. I knew I had to at least start it today if I wanted to finish it by tomorrow. Got the code to compile and run.

Wednesday: Went to the job because my printer is out of toner. It has been out of toner for like 8 months so I've just been using the school's stuff. Every now and then I might shake the toner cartridge, but most of the time I just go to the school. When I got to the building I saw Mrs. W in the front office. I estimate that she's about 65 or so, but she looks really good for her age(or at least the age I think she might be based on how she speaks). She works in another area of the school but was filling in because the front office staff is on spring break. This lady has such presence. I can hardly leave once she starts talking because she's so animated and so entertaining. She knows everything that is going on in the building, in the town and on the news. I finally managed to pry myself away from her so that I could go to my classroom and get the rest of my work done. I finished my work and said my goodbyes and was on my way.

Thursday: I got a call (message) from my old coworker letting me know that she didn't see my W-2 forms. She wanted to know if I changed my mind and picked them back up because she said she saw the note I left, but didn't see the forms themselves. Well when I heard the message after I left the barber shop I promptly raced over to her job to give her copies of my W-2 forms, all the while kicking myself for leaving my information out without securing it properly. I placed it in her chair under her sweater. In my mind I was thinking that would be okay because the placed looked quiet and I didn't really see a lot of people standing around outside the room. So I left them there and just closed the door. Well my mind started running and made me imagine someone sneaking in the room and rifling through her things, finding my information in some diabolic scheme to steal my identity/or do some unsavory things to adversely affect my credit history.

Prior to me leaving to go to the barbershop and over to her job, I returned a missed call to my brother. He needed to borrow some money. Why was it just a little bit more than the same amount that I had budgeted for my trip to the atl? Plans CANCELLED! I had planned to leave after leaving the barbershop, but I changed my mind and decided to just stay here. Since I only get paid once a month I have to spend money according to the day. When I spend I have to check the calendar. I don't like to spend hundred of dollars on shopping or whatever and it's only the 5th of the month. That needs to wait until the 15th or so. The closer I get to pay day the easier it is for me to spend.

Friday: Woke up thinking about how I said I was gonna blog more. The realism is that I haven't. To make up for not blogging as much I decided to do a run down of what I could remember from this week. I hope I can forgive me. I said 'me' because I'm the only person who really reads the blog.

Week Wrap Up

Today we start our spring break from work. This has been a long time coming. I came home today, undressed and just chilled. As a matter of fact, I'm still just kinda chillin. I opted not to go to Moultrie to attend my great aunt's funeral. Before you start being all judgemental saying how I'm wrong, just hear me out. I don't like to drive long distances. It would take me about nine hours to get to where the funeral is being held on tomorrow at 11:00 a.m. I saw her last this past Christmas. I'm glad I saw her and I'm at peace with it. It doesn't mean anything that I'm not going to be in attendance except that I just don't feel like that long ride.Even though I'm off from work, I still have obligations here in the 'boro. It would have been a lot on me to drive down there for Saturday and need to be back here on Monday.

When I went to work today I closed my door and got to work. I had to finish my grades and whenever I'm working on a tedious task, I like to have quiet so that I can focus on what I'm doing and finish as quickly as possible.

I'm happy that I finally turned in some paper work that I had been carrying around for almost two months. I'm such a procrastinator. I always make excuses for why I can't turn it in today and just kept putting it off. I'm also relieved to find out that my driving privilege has been reinstated. These police officers better watch out! Stop me if you think you bad cause I'ma have some words for the next officer who stops me for driving while black. One time I was even asked to take a sobriety test, which of course I passed because I was not drunk. The next time an officer asks me to do a sobriety test I will refuse to comply. I'm going to tell him, "I ain't playin' yo monkey games. I will take a breathalyzer, but I will not subject myself to these degrading exercises." If I don't say that verbatim, it'll be close.

What do ya'll think about this Inmate Idle? If you haven't heard there's this prison that has allowed it's nonviolent offenders to participate in a contest that is based on the popular television show American Idol. I'm not sure what the winner will receive (early release 5-10 instead of 8-15?), but I guess I'm cool with them having a way to channel their energy into something other than harming each other.

Early last Sunday morning, I dreamed about death. Specifically the death of the man who they say is my father. The dream even provided me a range of the time for him to die: from March 22 to March 30. Well today is March 31 and he called me. Needless to say, my dream did not come true. Even though the dream focused on him, maybe it was a sign about the great aunt who died on Tuesday. Sometimes dreams use a particular person/event to represent another person/event. Maybe that's what happened here. I had my hopes up though.

I need to start doing posts that are more upbeat. Tomorrow I need to be fitted for a tux because I'm the best man for my brother's wedding. Gotta have my sexy on. If I get my business handled by Tuesday, I think I might go out of town on Wednesday. I want to go to Six Flags in atl. I haven't been to a theme part in about two years. Theme parks are one of the things in life that make me happy. The realism is, I trust so few people to go out of town with, that if my regulars are unavailable, I just may have to go by myself. I don't really have a problem with that though. Some of my friends can't imagine doing things on their own. And if I did roll solo, I could do some digging around you know who to see what she's living like and whether or not there's space for me.

I have so many clothes that need to be washed that it makes no sense. I guess it's a blessing though that I can go for over a month without washing clothes and still be okay. I've got to try to make sure that I don't let these clothes pile up like this again. A part of me knows though, that this will inevitably happen again because that's just how I do.

Why did one of my students call me last night to ask me about a jacket? I was too outdone. Holla atcha lata.

I'm Back

So I've just been working and stuff over the past couple of weeks. You should see the inside of my bedroom. There are clothes everywhere! When I get home from work I just strip and hop in the bed. I usually watch a little t.v. (or let it watch me) and just kinda unwind. As a result of the routine that I have used for the past several days, my bedroom is in disarray. I'll try to fix that some time in the near future.

Anyway, this weekend was pretty cool. Some peoples we know came back home to visit. We just all hung out or whatever and played catch-up. Everybody in the group seems to be doing pretty good so I was pleased about that. One person is doing extremely well job wise. I'm happy for him. I hate to see when someone starts doing well other people get jealous.

There wasn't very much drama and so I enjoyed myself. Me and one of my main roll dogs went over to T's house to get ready to go out. Stop acting like ya'll don't know what that means. When we say get ready we mean to partake in some libations in preparation of the ensuing evening. After that we went back to our spot (I'm there so much I call it home) to get dressed. After she and I debated for a while we decided to just call it an early night.

The next day (Sunday) I got up to get ready for church. After church we met up with our peeps again and had lunch before everybody had to go their separate ways.

In between all of this I was somewhat preoccupied, particularly Sunday morning because I knew I had some work that HAD to be finished by Monday afternoon. True to myself, I had waited until the eleventh hour to begin. I just let from turning in the assignment a little while ago and so now all is right with the world. I'll keep you guys posted and I'll make sure I blog more often.

I think the reason that I haven't blogged in a couple of weeks is that I was just in a real reflective place. The realism is I wasn't sure how I was feeling about life in general and I didn't want to bring any negative energy to blogworld. So now since I'm in different space, I'm back on to blogging at least three times per week I hope. Until the next time....

Update

So the plan was a trip to try to get things to end by exploring legal options. I spoke with her and she assured me that everything was okay and not to worry. The past is the past, so to speak. Her focus right now is to help him become independent through the therapy and whatever. Maybe I didn't mention it before, but he is also like 90% blind. She said she was fine and I believed her. I was able to release the sleepless nights and the plotting and scheming just with her saying that everything was okay. Like I said, I believed her.

The workday started with an early morning meeting. It was kinda funny because the lady we were meeting with all but refused to address our concerns. She probably doesn't think we know what we're talking about. Can you guess her race? Can you guess ours? (The group of people who work with me). Why do they think that we don't know anything?

The day went pretty smoothly for me. I wasn't tormented and distracted by thoughts of what I should do to rescue her. I did have one of my students to go to lunch and not return. Oh, we can't have that! I'm going to get him tomorrow. I have to come up with something really good. He's a nice young man, but the realism is he must be punished.