Thursday, September 27, 2007

Coach Carter

I got up early and put on a nice outfit because on that day we were going to be having an assembly at school. Someone had arranged for out students to meet the real Coach Carter. When the students found out about it, some of them thought that Samuel L. Jackson was coming. I had to remind them that movies are not real and the people playing in the movies are just actors.

For some reason I had to go by the ATM this particular morning. I don't remember the reason why now. After I got some $$$ I continued up the same road the ATM was on, which is not my normal route. It was raining but not too hard. An officer came up behind me and got closer to my bumper than necessary. I knew then that he was running my tag to find out who I was. Driving while black is a mutha. He stops me. I pull over and he comes up to tell me that my tag is expired. I tell him that I think he is incorrect because I had already paid the taxes on my car.

Where I'm originally from (Georgia) when you pay the taxes you get a new decal. I did not realize in NC that you pay taxes and a separate decal fee. Ignorance of the law, however, is no excuse. He finds out that I also had a revoked license. I knew my license was revoked but I just hadn't found the time to handle the paperwork associated with getting it reinstated. It got revoked because I had gotten a ticket earlier. I paid the fine but did not send the receipt back to Georgia, where I was still maintaining a license at the time, even though I was living in NC.

He tells me to get out of the car so that he can arrest me for driving with a revoked license and having an expired tag. I am disappointed but not shocked. I knew I was getting arrested as soon as he pulled me over. I get out of the car and he puts the handcuff on while other cars speed by me on their way to wherever. I tell him that I'm sick and I don't need to be in the rain. He says he'll try to make it quick. He checks my pockets and inquires about the contents. I had some flash drives/jump drives/thumb drives (I've heard so many names for them) in my pocket. He asked what they were. I told him, but he seemed like he wasn't sure about my response. He asked where I worked. I told him I worked for the county. I was certainly not going to reveal to him that I worked for the school system so that he could try to make this a bigger deal than it was.

At some point he led me to his cruiser and had me sit down and told me he was going to search my vehicle. All I could think about was this white cop was going to plant some drugs in my car (Jaguar) to try to get a promotion on the force or something. Maybe I overanalyze but that's all I could think about. Plus if he did plant the drugs how would I convince anyone that the drugs weren't mine? He didn't find any drugs but he came back with a knife that I had in the armrest. He told me that I was carrying a concealed weapon, but that he would not add that to the charge. Somewhere in the midst of all that was going on he called another officer for backup. Mind you I'm 5'6" 152 lbs. Why the fuck did he need backup? Plus I was sick and I thought I was fly(see paragraph one).

They towed the car to some tow place way far away from where I live. I rode in the car to the local jail downtown. I told the officer while I was in the car that the cuffs were too tight. He told me that he knew what they felt like because they have to wear them as a part of their training. I'm thinking if you know mutha*#2&#@! take them off me. When we got to the garage under the jail we had to wait in the car because they were filming a commercail in the jail. The officer joked saying that I could be on tv. He asked me if I wanted to be in the commercial. I very curtly replied no and I told him I didn't think it was funny. He got out of the car after a while and led me inside. I had to sit on a bench and he handcuffed me to a bar that was on the back of the bench like I was a member of a cow herd. I told him that I did not want to be cuffed to the bar. He said his sargeant would get him if he didn't. I asked him if his sargeant had plans to come by here at 7:45 on a Tuesday morning. He didn't respond. I continued trying to pressure him to not cuff me. I asked him if he had checked out my shoes. I then followed up with do you think I'm going to run and scuff up my shoes? He still cuffed me to the bar anyway.

He started doing the paperwork and I was given a chance to contact a bailbondsman. I called a bondsman, but I still had to go upstairs to be booked and fingerprinted. After I was processed they made me answer a million questions and put me in a holding cell. I was in the cell for at least 2 hours. It only had a bench and a toilet sink thing that was all in one hooked together. Finally they released me when my bailbondsman arrived. I got my belongings and called someone from work to come and get me.

Luckily for me things at work were okay because we were having the assembly that day. If we weren't I would have had to call and tell them I couldn't make it for whatever reason. I really think all this happened because a white cop saw a young handsome black male driving what he thinks is an expensive ride.

Sunday, September 23, 2007


So yesterday I headed down to Charlotte to hang out with my friend Tonya. (I can't remember the fake name I used so I'll just use the real one. Makes life easier.) She's down there on business for about two weeks. She called me about 8:30 a.m. Saturday morning to see if I wanted to come down. I was feeling kinda sick so I told her I would let her know. As a matter of fact I was supposed to hang out Friday night with some peeps but I let my boy know that I was having the runny nose/fever/cough/need-to-head-this-off-before-it-gets-worse thing going on. I ended up just staying in Friday night taking some Sudafed and drinking some lemon tea.

Let me do a short thing on lemon tea. Every time I get sick this is what I use to open my sinuses and to help break up the phlegm that needs to come up so that you can get better. All you need to do is roll some lemons and squeeze the juice in some water. Put the squeezed lemon halves in the water too and boil it on the stove. Add a teaspoon of sugar of Karo syrup--I guess you could actually use the sweetener of your choice but only use about a teaspoon just to take the edge off. (Ending two sentences with prepositions--JayBee you MUST be sick! Look back up at the bold words.)

Anyway after I got my haircut I and threw some stuff in a bag I headed down to Charlotte to hang. When I arrived I went to her hotel. I was not pleased. The hotel is called The Blake. It looks like an old LaQuinta Inn that the new owners have not yet gotten around to renovating. The plan was for me to crash there for the night, but once I arrived I made a quick decision to stay at the Omni. We left the hotel to grab a bite to eat. If you're ever in Charlotte you must try one of her most famous dives called Price's Chicken Coop. The locals affectionately refer to it as the "Chicken Coot". From there we headed to South Park mall. As we were leaving the mall we heard music wafting through the air and decided to investigate. They were having a jazz in the park type festival on the back side of the mall on a grassy knoll. The parking was kinda hectic so I decided to go to the VIP parking area. The attendant asked if we had the appropriate pass. I told him that I did not, but that I wished to park in the area anyway. He paused and then he relented. He told me what space to take and basically to act like I was supposed to be there. Tonya and I said that he must not know who we were because that would be a small feat.

We stayed for about 15 minutes because of the impromptu nature of this deviation from our plan less day. Everyone else had blankets, coolers, buckets of KFC, lawn chairs, etc. When we got back downtown we parked and decided to walk. Some stranger on the street asked me if I had change for one million dollars. I was in disbelief. I almost came to tears because he said it with such conviction. We decided to go to Ruth's Chris for dinner. When we arrived the hostess asked if we had a reservation. I told her no. She said all that was available right now was the bar and the patio. My body language let her know that I didn't find that acceptable. She said she'd go ahead and seat us in the dining room after I motioned Tonya toward the door. When we go to our seats we panned the restaurant. TUMBLEWEEDS. There was hardly anyone there. I think of about 50 tables maybe three had guests seated at them. Who was she trying to fool like it was standing room only in that joint. I knew there was no one there when we got there because it was so quiet.

I dropped her off at her hotel and I checked into the mine. I showered and got dressed to go out. After checking out a couple of spots downtown we ended up at The Forum. While waiting in line I decided to find out how much it was for the VIP line. Dude said $20 and you still have to pay the $10 cover. I was straight on that cause the regular line wasn't that long. After about two minutes the dude called me over and told me that I couldn't go inside with my hat on and to hide it. So I did and he motioned for Tonya and let us in the VIP line for free. There probably about 15 people in front of us and I'm sure they were wondering who we were.

It was a mixed crowd so I was feeling that part. The music was kinda wack for most of the night, but the mixed crowd thing was definitely a plus. I get tired of waiting on the fight/shootout at all black clubs. There were some people about to get in a fight and of course they all looked like me. I just don't get it. I'm JayBee bitch! After we got tired of the wackness of the music we posted up outside and went down to another club. We could hear the music from outside and it was even worse! I was not kicking out any more dough for another wack DJ Fumblefingers. Our purpose wasn't to meet people. We just went to have a good time. Here are some pics for your viewing pleasure.

With shades.

Here I am with red eyes.
E.T. phone home

Tonya thought she was the stuff last night!

Have a great week! Oh and I didn't mention that we all but got cussed out on the job on Thursday, but that's a whole 'nother post. See ya.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

While You Were Out

I'm reclining in my bed as I type this post. I got off the road a little while ago from the A. I don't know what it is but I absolutely positively love the A. Yesterday evening I had dinner with a former coworker and one of her homegirls. The homegirl was cute. She was a little light skinned shorty with a fatty with relatively small breasts. They were cute and perky though. I wasn't pressed, but I asked her if she was hitched and she let me know that indeed she had locked her down a dude. I was thinking to myself, "Did you lock him down or did he lock you down?" Anyway dinner was straight and the convo was light and friendly. For those of you familiar with Atlanta we ate at Strip. When we finished eating, we went upstairs to chill/people watch for a few before we parted ways. When I got back to my hotel I had a friend roll through so we could "chill." The evening ended pretty good. Good azz and banging head. The head was actually ahead of the game. Was that corny?

On the way back the man stopped me again and gave me a speeding ticket. I maintain that I get these tickets because I'm black. It has absolutely nothing to do with how fast they allege that I was driving. That's $180 that I can flush down the toilet.

Also last night Chris Brown was downstairs at the bar of the hotel and the night before Usher walked by me as I was trying to check into the hotel. (Actually I was on my way to the bathroom while the guy behind the desk was verifying my reservation and running my card for incidentals.) He was with a female. I presume it was the woman he married last weekend. I didn't get a really good look at her though. I did scan to see if anyone else appeared to be with them and it didn't look like he was with an entourage.

On the job front I was recently made chair of the leadership team. My principal came up to me Friday telling me all this stuff I needed to do. I was like I'll handle it next week. I am not doing anything at 2:30 on Friday afternoon when we get off work at 3:45. I actually left at about 2:45, but you know what I'm sayin'.

My mind just jumped back to the celebrities. Did I tell ya'll that I want to be someone's personal assistant? Not because I see myself as a flunkie, but because I just want to be able to get into all the premiers and travel and whatnot. If I get a decent offer ($75,000) I'll hand in my letter of resignation "with all deliberate speed".*

In other news I started a campaign to lose some weight back in July. I actually have hit the 150 goal mark. I think I want to continue to about 148 just to be safe. I'll keep a good check on my weight and whenever I reach 152, I'll kick it into high gear to lose those extra 2-4 pounds. Now I just need to build some muscle so that I can be sho nuff fine! I mean if I'm moving to the A, I got to look good because I'm sure there's much competition.

Meanwhile I loaned a friend a few bucks that he promised to return this past weekend. Of course I haven't heard from him and I'm not going to call him anytime soon. If it goes for another two weeks I'll probably give him a call and request the funds. Whether he return the money at that point or not, it is safe to say that his credit is damaged with me. The realism is if you cannot meet an obligation to which you have previously agreed, have the decency to pick up the phone and let the creditor (in this case me) know the situation. I am very forgiving. I mean, I wouldn't loan someone something that would have me in dire straits. By not giving me a call though to let me know what's going on, it makes me feel that you'd rather shirk your responsibilities than to man up and take care of your business.

*A prize goes to whoever can tell me what popularized that particular phrase.