As Promised, Christmas Story

Three blogs ago I said I'd tell you all what happened when I went home for Christmas. Being a man of my word, I'll do just that. So we typically always meet up for Christmas at either my mom's place, my deceased grandmother's place or one of the aunts' places. Christmas 2008 was held at an aunt's place in Albany, Georgia. This place is about 4 hours from where my mom stays in Georgia so it didn't make a whole lot of sense for me to fly to my mom and then ride down to Albany an additional 4 hours. I decided to fly to Atlanta and drive to Albany from there--about 2.5 hours. A direct flight to Albany would have probably cost me about $150 more. I have family in the A, so it was not problem for me to hop a ride with one of the cousins.

Anyway I arrived in Albany on Christmas morning. My mom and him arrived maybe around 1:00 p.m. When they came in the house I greeted everyone in their party. Three uncles and him accompanied my mom. All though I spoke to him grudgingly, I did at least acknowledge his presence. It was all I could do to muster that up. Him's hearing is going bad in addition to the myriad of other health related, evilness induced challenges he has. As a reminder, ever the consummate teacher, let's have a quick review. Double amputations in both legs, kidney failure, on dialysis, legally blind and I think one or two fingers are missing too. Anyway, he apparently didn't hear me. Not my issue.

We ate and opened presents. The tradition is that we all sit around and read off each name and ooh and aah over every single gift. It usually takes 3 - 4 hours but it's time well spent. I heard him ask my mom if she checked on 'that situation' they discussed. Let me bring you up to speed. JayBee = 'that situation'. So anyway, him told her she didn't have to say anything, just be observant. I figured that their conversation centered around me not speaking to him and how he felt about it. Clearly I don't give a sh@t about how him feels about anything so I made no moves to make him feel any differently.

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(time elapse, you know like how they do in books)

So when it was about time for them to leave, my mom asked me if I spoke to him. I told her that I did. Ever trying to be the mediator she asked if he heard me. Of course I told her that I couldn't speak for him and wouldn't attempt to do so. She requested that I tell him goodbye before they pulled off to go back to my grandmother's. I was lying down when we had this conversation. I remarked that she could just leave and go back and pretend that I was asleep because if I were asleep I wouldn't be expected to wake up and give a benediction over the day. Of course I can't really say no to mama so I complied, but not without trying to help her understand more about how I feel.

I let her know that him has no right to make a big deal out of me not speaking to him. I never do. Why would him's expectation be that today would be any different? Him's issue with me not speaking to him is 'how it looks to the [extended] family.' That's just the bullshit I'm talkin' about. Everyone else is fully aware of how I feel. This imaginary audience for whom we're supposed to be performing DOES NOT EXIST. It is this fakeness that I rebelled against as a child and I'll not continue to participate in it as an adult. Moreover, with him acting like I'm such a disrespectful muthafucka of a son, it allows him to play the victim. As if someone drug him through years of a horrible existence and not the other way around. Unacceptable.

She understood that. I didn't use any profanity, but she clearly understood what I was saying. It seemed to be a turning point in our relationship because I had began to withdraw from her because she continued to try to push me to engage with someone with whom I didn't desire. She doesn't push it anymore and hasn't since that date. Three months strong. Not a single mention of 'talking to your father' or any of its derivatives.

Peace of mind. You are why I find pleasure in the simple things in life.

Coach Carter

I got up early and put on a nice outfit because on that day we were going to be having an assembly at school. Someone had arranged for out students to meet the real Coach Carter. When the students found out about it, some of them thought that Samuel L. Jackson was coming. I had to remind them that movies are not real and the people playing in the movies are just actors.

For some reason I had to go by the ATM this particular morning. I don't remember the reason why now. After I got some $$$ I continued up the same road the ATM was on, which is not my normal route. It was raining but not too hard. An officer came up behind me and got closer to my bumper than necessary. I knew then that he was running my tag to find out who I was. Driving while black is a mutha. He stops me. I pull over and he comes up to tell me that my tag is expired. I tell him that I think he is incorrect because I had already paid the taxes on my car.

Where I'm originally from (Georgia) when you pay the taxes you get a new decal. I did not realize in NC that you pay taxes and a separate decal fee. Ignorance of the law, however, is no excuse. He finds out that I also had a revoked license. I knew my license was revoked but I just hadn't found the time to handle the paperwork associated with getting it reinstated. It got revoked because I had gotten a ticket earlier. I paid the fine but did not send the receipt back to Georgia, where I was still maintaining a license at the time, even though I was living in NC.

He tells me to get out of the car so that he can arrest me for driving with a revoked license and having an expired tag. I am disappointed but not shocked. I knew I was getting arrested as soon as he pulled me over. I get out of the car and he puts the handcuff on while other cars speed by me on their way to wherever. I tell him that I'm sick and I don't need to be in the rain. He says he'll try to make it quick. He checks my pockets and inquires about the contents. I had some flash drives/jump drives/thumb drives (I've heard so many names for them) in my pocket. He asked what they were. I told him, but he seemed like he wasn't sure about my response. He asked where I worked. I told him I worked for the county. I was certainly not going to reveal to him that I worked for the school system so that he could try to make this a bigger deal than it was.

At some point he led me to his cruiser and had me sit down and told me he was going to search my vehicle. All I could think about was this white cop was going to plant some drugs in my car (Jaguar) to try to get a promotion on the force or something. Maybe I overanalyze but that's all I could think about. Plus if he did plant the drugs how would I convince anyone that the drugs weren't mine? He didn't find any drugs but he came back with a knife that I had in the armrest. He told me that I was carrying a concealed weapon, but that he would not add that to the charge. Somewhere in the midst of all that was going on he called another officer for backup. Mind you I'm 5'6" 152 lbs. Why the fuck did he need backup? Plus I was sick and I thought I was fly(see paragraph one).

They towed the car to some tow place way far away from where I live. I rode in the car to the local jail downtown. I told the officer while I was in the car that the cuffs were too tight. He told me that he knew what they felt like because they have to wear them as a part of their training. I'm thinking if you know mutha*#2&#@! take them off me. When we got to the garage under the jail we had to wait in the car because they were filming a commercail in the jail. The officer joked saying that I could be on tv. He asked me if I wanted to be in the commercial. I very curtly replied no and I told him I didn't think it was funny. He got out of the car after a while and led me inside. I had to sit on a bench and he handcuffed me to a bar that was on the back of the bench like I was a member of a cow herd. I told him that I did not want to be cuffed to the bar. He said his sargeant would get him if he didn't. I asked him if his sargeant had plans to come by here at 7:45 on a Tuesday morning. He didn't respond. I continued trying to pressure him to not cuff me. I asked him if he had checked out my shoes. I then followed up with do you think I'm going to run and scuff up my shoes? He still cuffed me to the bar anyway.

He started doing the paperwork and I was given a chance to contact a bailbondsman. I called a bondsman, but I still had to go upstairs to be booked and fingerprinted. After I was processed they made me answer a million questions and put me in a holding cell. I was in the cell for at least 2 hours. It only had a bench and a toilet sink thing that was all in one hooked together. Finally they released me when my bailbondsman arrived. I got my belongings and called someone from work to come and get me.

Luckily for me things at work were okay because we were having the assembly that day. If we weren't I would have had to call and tell them I couldn't make it for whatever reason. I really think all this happened because a white cop saw a young handsome black male driving what he thinks is an expensive ride.

Three down, sixteen to go

So I'm trying to lose weight. On Tuesday my weight was 167 pounds. That means that I am overweight for my height. I'm only 5'6". I should weigh around 150 pounds. To that end, I am doing what I need to do to get myself to that target weight. I've adopted a diet to help me jumpstart the weight loss and I'm exercising daily. I'm also pretty much only drinking water and lots of it.Today I just weighed in at 164. I'm pleased and all the more determined now. Because of that small victory I now believe that I can do it. Once I drop the weight, I plan to tone everything up so that I can have the type of body that I want. The next goal is to weigh in at 157 pounds no later than July 4th. From there I want to be at the target weight no later than July 20th. If I should reach these milestones sooner, I'll be certain to let you know.