Stuff

I'm blogging from my sister's laptop in Savannah. I tried to leave to go back home, but she phoned me to let me know that I left a bag and my coat. I decided to turn around and return to gather my things. Now I'm just waiting until my mom gets off work before I leave. I already saw her today, but I'm a little sleepy so that gives me an excuse to see her one more time and will allow me to get some rest.

Mrs. Campbell, who I call my other mother, said something to me that helped me see things differently with regard to him*. She told me that he already has to answer for his wrongs. I'll be judged based on how I interact with him. That really helped me. I can be cordial. I just have to limit my engagements with him though, because I'm not nearly as strong as it may seem. My inclination is to lash out at him, so I have to be really careful not to go around him too much.

The whole holiday thing went okay. I did leave the house the night before Christmas and considering getting a room, but I decided to return. My mother seems so happy now that I'm home. I know she misses me because it is so rare that I come. She knows why though. She doesn't necessarily like it, but she does know. We only talk about it on occasion. It's kinda like gays in the military - don't ask don't tell. We choose to ignore the big pink elephant that did the somersault in the middle of the living room.

I was glad to see my aunts and uncles and cousins and brother and sister and their families. One brother didn't make it. He and his wife went to her parents' house. I guess that's what you have to do when you're married, but they also went there for Thanksgiving as well. On top of that they didn't send a gift for my mother. He claimed he couldn't afford to buy any gifts this year. He recently got a job and did you miss the part where I said they went to the other in laws' house. We're talking about a three hour drive. I started to call him and go off, but a part of my personal growth and reflection has been for me to take my mouth off people and their situations. As much as I would like to question whether they purchased a gift for his wife's mother, I'm gonna try my best to leave it alone. I'm not trying to make comparisons, but I just have some questions...

This is all over the place. I just checked my email and a guy contacted me about a job. I need to decide whether I plan to follow up with that or not....I could use the extra bread to help me with my relocation expenses.

Sayings

If I can't believe everything you say, then I can't believe nothing you say. (I am aware of the double negative.)

This is one of the most poignant sayings that I have ever heard. It speaks to honesty and integrity--two closely related ideas that are of paramount importance to me. If you want the fight of your life, say something against my character. I can handle all other attacks against me. You can call me short, fat, ugly, stink, stupid, etc., but under no circumstances can you assassinate my character. Your name is all you have and when people attack your name they in essence attempt to alter your destiny. I say alter your destiny because when other people hear what someone who has attacked you has said, they engage you in conversation and in deed as if what the attacker said is/was the gospel truth. I'm not sure where this diatribe came from, but I just had this on my heart. It's not like anything like this has happened to me recently, but I just felt like putting this out there.

In other news, a teacher at my school beat up a student, a kid set a desk on fire, and we have random students (one of whom is in my 3rd block class) pulling fire alarms for kicks. East Side High.

What are some of your favorite sayings and why do they speak such volumes to you?