Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Psuedorandom Musings

1. Why is it that when you tell somebody something they have a tendency to discredit what you have said? When someone of a different race (white or Asian) or in a higher position tells them the exact same thing, then it's suddenly the gospel truth.

2. Have you ever lived with someone whom you felt like you were rearing? (Southern people say 'raising', but you raise sugar cane and sheep. You actually 'rear' people).

3. I wish a police officer would pull me over for anything. Now that I'm back on the right side of the legitness (is that a word) as far as my license is concerned, I will be in a position to verbally thrash any officer who pulls me over for no good reason at all. I'm getting badge numbers, superior officers, tag numbers, etc., and am definitely going to accuse them of pulling me for driving while black.

4. Why did one of my students take another student's paper, erase his name and replace it with his own name? The thing is, the student who erased the other person's name didn't even erase it good. How foolish can you be?

5. For some strange reason when I go out looking for things to wear, I usually return uncharacteristically empty handed. Things just don't seem to suit me anymore. Pardon the pun.

6. When you forgive someone, but find it hard to forget the infraction that initially caused you the pain, do you believe that is indicative of unforgiveness? I don't. I think you'd be a fool to try to forget what cause the problem in the first place. By remembering, you are able to guard your emotions against such damage in the future. Any thoughts?

7. I can cook a mean turkey leg.

8. It's been a while since we last spoke. Maybe I'll make the first move.

9. If you make a simple request of someone and they constantly defy the request, is that a sign of their disdain for you, their need to assert their own authority or a combination of the two?

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

I Got a Feelin'

Sometimes when I tell people this they look at me with that look that says, "I know you believe what you are saying, but it just doesn't sound plausible to me." The realism is I have a mild case of esp. You know, extra sensory perception. Sometimes I get these feelings that I can't shake. Sometimes I have a dream that at a later time in life will unfold itself. One can argue that it's that feeling that most everyone has experienced at some time or another known as deja vu. I cannot tell you how many times I've dreamed about some seemingly insignificant event and then later had the event take place. A lot of times I was even clothed the same way as in the dream. Other dreams sometimes unfold in a slightly modified form. I mean, the major theme of the dream will take place, but some of the minor details may be different. For example, about seven years prior to my grandmother's funeral I dreamed how the ceremony would be. For the naysayers, we all know that death is certain. I am not suggesting I dreamed that she was going to die. That would not be a revelation. What I am suggesting, though, is that there is no way I could have known the color of the casket, what she would have on and where it might take place. (The where part is arguable, because it took place in the church that she had been a member of for quite a while. However, she used to attend another church.) Still not convinced? One time in high school I dreamed about an illicit affair. Truthfully, in high school, since most people are not living in matrimony, aren't all of our trysts illicit? I digress. I dreamed about this girl with whom I would perform a specific sex act. Whadayou know? It happened. Even as it was about to happen I remembered the dream. I wanted to stop it. I felt powerless to do so. It was almost as if I had read the script, but had not the ability to alter my lines or yell 'cut'. Even as I ponder that event now, I wonder why I couldn't make it turn out differently. Was that even (sinful event) predestined? Or was I just feeling fresh (what we use for 'horny'; see entry entitled, "The Burgeoning" for reference to vernacular)?

It isn't just me either. My sister has the same ability. Quick story. We had a great uncle who was mentally ill. (Strong record of mental illness on his* side.) Anywho, he walked off from his home one night and no one could find him. After he was missing for several days, my sister had a dream. She then told my aunts/uncles where Clarence was. She told them he was naked and in the woods dead. We're from a small country town that was at the time heavily wooded. This information was relayed to the authorities. They went searching for him. Just as she had said, he was found dead in the woods naked. It was some on point that I jokingly asked, "Are you sure you didn't do it?"

Hear me clearly. I am not saying that I have a crystal ball and can tell the future. It just so happens that sometimes I get a feeling about things or sometimes I dream a dream that comes true. The question is, after I dream the dream, I wonder if unconsciously I try to make the events in the dream become a part of my reality or if they were going to happen anyway.

*See post entitled, "The Burgeoning" for further clarification

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Secret Lover

I'm lounging around my apartment finding divers things to busy my mind with in a song and dance that I've done so many times before. This is how I act when I participate in the abominable act with my mistress. She is a quite culpable; she presents a detour for me on countless ocassions. She is the very reason I don't get as much sleep as I should. Each time she visits, I spend the hours dining and sexing her. After I reach for my washcloth, I then have to complete whatever task she has used her wiles to keep me from starting and as a consequence, keep me from bringing to fruition. So starts the lost time in respite because I have to make up for the time she has stealthily stolen from me. One day I'm not going to let her get the best of me. As a matter of fact I need to tell Ms. Procrastination it's over. We're done. The realism is, though, I just can't find the time.

Friday, February 16, 2007

*Singing* Love...so many things I've got to tell you...

I was in awe. Although I noticed her physical attributes, what set me on fire was when her lips parted and she spoke. Good enunciation. Good pronunciation. Appropriate tone. Right pitch. Eloquent. She was reading the announcements in church. If you've ever been to a black church, then this part of the service can vary from 2 minutes to ten minutes after they announce the upcoming special services, remind congregants about the recurring services like Bible study, prayer meeting etc., and tell who was recently hospitalized or funeralized. The whole time she spoke I was amazed. I knew I had to meet her. I was in love, or at least I thought it was love. I had to know who she was.

I finally mustered up the courage to say something to her. Things didn't quite progress the way I had hoped, but life goes on. I still got love for ya.

*singing* I bet you think this post is about you don't you don't you don't you?

The realism is, it is.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

The Best Lie Ever Told

The realism is that I absolutely detest liars. I dislike them because I am offended that some people who lie think I believe their lies, so in effect they think I'm stupid/gullible. I can be naive but if what you are telling me doesn't seem to have a modicum of truth to it, even if I seem to be nodding my head in agreement, I really think you're stupid for lying. Case in point:

An acquaintance of mine--let's call her Kim*--claimed she got into an altercation with her stepfather. I don't remember what it was about, but suffice it to say that their relationship wasn't particularly cordial or pleasant and so the two of them arguing was a normal occurrence. Well, this particular day the argument transitioned from a verbal one to a physical one. (I can hear Ludacris in the background, "Throw dem bows!") Some kind of way in the tussle, the stepfather ended up at the foot of the stairs and she was left on the landing at the top of the stairs. Her explanation was that she(5'2" 170 lbs) overpowered her stepfather (6'3" 280 lbs) and threw him down the stairs. I know, I know, that's a lie too, but stay with me. The best is yet to come. Anyway, in her fairytale world, after she tossed that giant down the stairs,---hold up. Let me give just a little more background on Kim. She claims to be a black belt in karate. I told her she may own a black belt but that I doubted the former claim. Of course she insisted she was telling the truth, but what else would I expect from a pathological liar?

Back to the story. So once he was downstairs and she was still upstairs on the clearing, she became so furious that she reached in her bag and began to throw ninja stars at him. Seriously as I was typing that line, I chuckled. It doesn't matter how many times I retell this story, I am in disbelief each time. Are you ready for the question? Question: Where in the thundering tarnation did she get ninja stars from? Did she really believe that I believed that she 1) had ninja stars and 2) that I believed she knew how to use them if she had them and 3) that she actually used them? I don't know but a dangerous weapon like ninja stars might be illegal to carry.

So you ask, why would I talk to a person like this who obviously tells ridiculous lies? The answer is simple. I like to laugh.

*Name has been changed to protect the deceitful.

Monday, February 12, 2007

What Were They Thinking?

How many times are we going to read in the news about couples abusing their kids? Unfortunately this type of behavior has become commonplace. The latest episode stars a couple from north Georgia that has been described as "extremely religious." I wonder what that means. I suppose it means that they adhere to strict codes of conduct with regard to the activities and associations that are and are not allowed. Anyway, the story is in an attempt to punish their eight year old son they beat him and put him inside a box. Apparently the young boy suffocated in the box because when they went to check on him, he and I quote, "...wasn't quite moving." Prior to this this same couple had a practice of having their children go in a closet when they misbehaved. I guess to seem concerned, they had cameras installed in the closet that was used for punishment so that they could monitor their children. To me it is inconceivable that a parent would be so unjust, so cruel to their own flesh and blood.

Fast forward to the trial. Both parents have been cutting the monkey crying in court. They are so sorry because they didn't intend for him to die. How ever true that might be, if you put a kid in a box that wasn't really built with ventilation in mind, (because children don't belong in boxes), you cannot be upset if the kid dies. It is the negligence of the parents that has made this situation manifest itself.

I grew up in a household that was stricter than a lot of my friends' homes. We went to church every Sunday, prayer meeting and Bible study on Wednesday, choir rehearsal on Tuesday and Saturday and did other stuff as necessary for upcoming events and special programs. I was never locked in a box though. (Considering some of the abuse I had to take, locking me in a box is probably lesser of two evils.)

I don't feel very much sympathy for the parents. I know a part of them is hurt because of the loss of the child and the loss of the lives that they once enjoyed. I'm saying loss of the lives that they once enjoyed because they are almost certainly going to jail. They also had other children who probably suffered as well at the hands of their abuse and irrational discipline methods. I read somewhere that one of the motivating factors for the parents placing the youngster in the box was that he was possessed by the devil. I wonder if they'll use the "The Devil Made Me Do It" defense in court.

Mirror mirror on the wall...

Saturday, February 10, 2007

The Burgeoning

I've been fascinated by this blogging thing for quite some time. I immediately recognized its therapeutic value. As such, I decided to take part in this journey. I don't know how long I'll be here, but I'll be here as long as I'm led to be.
Here's a little bit about me. I'm a 20 something year old teacher at an at risk (read: low performing) high school. Some of my colleagues call me "JayBee." It's kinda humbling because that's what peeps used to call my grandad. I mean, they don't know that but, it's one of those things that I think about sometimes when they call me that. My mother is one of the strongest women I know and he (the one they say is my father) is on dialysis. I wonder how long it'll be. My favorite color is black (I know it's really a hue, but whatever) and I'm into gadgets. One of the things I look for in a car is how many buttons there are to play with. I enjoy hanging out with friends, a good meal and stimulating conversation. I enjoy my job, but disapprove of some of the people in power, some of the decisions that are made. Everybody has drama on their job. More on that later. I feel like I have to catch everyone up on who I am. I'm including a short list of likes and dislikes. Over time I may publish additional lists, make an addendum to this one or just sort of weave some of my truths into the entries that I publish. Something else that e'erbody should know is that I am a big procrastinator. Flashback to high school. I was always the one who would wait to the night before the big paper was due to start it. To my credit, I'd always get high grades and the teacher would think I'd spent days working diligently writing, revising and proofreading. HA! I always tell people that I work well under pressure. The realism is, I actually don't know how things would turn out if I started in advance because I have so few experiences with which to compare. Some of the truest sayings I've heard: 1. Actions speak louder than words. 2. Time heals all wounds. and one of my personal favorites 3. Obedience is better than sacrifice. I rarely get upset at circumstances/situations because I always think that it could be so much worse. (Even though I was disheartened at WalMart today when they told me they didn't have anymore turkey legs. I mean, I called them before I came and asked them to put me four to the side. No one said, "We can't hold food," or anything like that. I was under the assumption that when I arrived 20 minutes later that my turkey legs would already be packaged. But alas, they were already sold.)

  • Breyer's cookies and creme.
  • Brown-skinned to dark skinned girls (not a color complex, just a preference)
  • People who will stand for what's right or say what needs to be said, even when it's unpopular.
  • Learning other people's vernacular. Think back to college or some time when you were around people from all over the US and other countries. The way other people express ideas intrigues me. For example, where I'm from to indicate the degree to which you are interested in doing something we say "pressed". Used in a sentence: "Yo, that dude was pressed to get her numba." This dude I knew from Jersey always said 'beat'. Think same sentence except replace pressed with beat.
  • Justified text. This is one of my numerous idiosyncrasies. I simply hate ragged text. If you're not sure what I'm talking about look in any book (or look up at this entry) and see how the text is even on the left and the right. If you use left align, the text is ragged on the right hand side.
  • Liars.
  • Phony people.
  • Deceit.
  • People who are always late and the lame azz excuses they always have.
  • When you go out to eat there's always someone making a stink about some minuscule detail that made their meal/time just unbearable. If it's so bad, just push it to the side, don't eat it, don't leave a good tip and don't return.
  • People who leave crappy tips. My best friend is a server. I know how much junk they take off people all day. Quick story: This lady left my best friend a $1.00 tip after Kiki had to keep running back and forth to her table for all her whims. Once Kiki discovered the dollar, she raced outside to the parking lot looking for the woman. When she found her in her car she knocked on the window and told her she dropped a dollar. The lady was like, "Oh no, sweetheart, I left that for you." My best friend tells her that she can have it because obviously she (the lady) needs it more than her.
  • People who knock other people without knowing their story. How you gonna sum up someone else's existence, when you don't even know them?