The realism is that I absolutely detest liars. I dislike them because I am offended that some people who lie think I believe their lies, so in effect they think I'm stupid/gullible. I can be naive but if what you are telling me doesn't seem to have a modicum of truth to it, even if I seem to be nodding my head in agreement, I really think you're stupid for lying. Case in point:
An acquaintance of mine--let's call her Kim*--claimed she got into an altercation with her stepfather. I don't remember what it was about, but suffice it to say that their relationship wasn't particularly cordial or pleasant and so the two of them arguing was a normal occurrence. Well, this particular day the argument transitioned from a verbal one to a physical one. (I can hear Ludacris in the background, "Throw dem bows!") Some kind of way in the tussle, the stepfather ended up at the foot of the stairs and she was left on the landing at the top of the stairs. Her explanation was that she(5'2" 170 lbs) overpowered her stepfather (6'3" 280 lbs) and threw him down the stairs. I know, I know, that's a lie too, but stay with me. The best is yet to come. Anyway, in her fairytale world, after she tossed that giant down the stairs,---hold up. Let me give just a little more background on Kim. She claims to be a black belt in karate. I told her she may own a black belt but that I doubted the former claim. Of course she insisted she was telling the truth, but what else would I expect from a pathological liar?
Back to the story. So once he was downstairs and she was still upstairs on the clearing, she became so furious that she reached in her bag and began to throw ninja stars at him. Seriously as I was typing that line, I chuckled. It doesn't matter how many times I retell this story, I am in disbelief each time. Are you ready for the question? Question: Where in the thundering tarnation did she get ninja stars from? Did she really believe that I believed that she 1) had ninja stars and 2) that I believed she knew how to use them if she had them and 3) that she actually used them? I don't know but a dangerous weapon like ninja stars might be illegal to carry.
So you ask, why would I talk to a person like this who obviously tells ridiculous lies? The answer is simple. I like to laugh.
An acquaintance of mine--let's call her Kim*--claimed she got into an altercation with her stepfather. I don't remember what it was about, but suffice it to say that their relationship wasn't particularly cordial or pleasant and so the two of them arguing was a normal occurrence. Well, this particular day the argument transitioned from a verbal one to a physical one. (I can hear Ludacris in the background, "Throw dem bows!") Some kind of way in the tussle, the stepfather ended up at the foot of the stairs and she was left on the landing at the top of the stairs. Her explanation was that she(5'2" 170 lbs) overpowered her stepfather (6'3" 280 lbs) and threw him down the stairs. I know, I know, that's a lie too, but stay with me. The best is yet to come. Anyway, in her fairytale world, after she tossed that giant down the stairs,---hold up. Let me give just a little more background on Kim. She claims to be a black belt in karate. I told her she may own a black belt but that I doubted the former claim. Of course she insisted she was telling the truth, but what else would I expect from a pathological liar?
Back to the story. So once he was downstairs and she was still upstairs on the clearing, she became so furious that she reached in her bag and began to throw ninja stars at him. Seriously as I was typing that line, I chuckled. It doesn't matter how many times I retell this story, I am in disbelief each time. Are you ready for the question? Question: Where in the thundering tarnation did she get ninja stars from? Did she really believe that I believed that she 1) had ninja stars and 2) that I believed she knew how to use them if she had them and 3) that she actually used them? I don't know but a dangerous weapon like ninja stars might be illegal to carry.
So you ask, why would I talk to a person like this who obviously tells ridiculous lies? The answer is simple. I like to laugh.
*Name has been changed to protect the deceitful.
7 comments:
okay, lol, girlfriend is definitely living in an altered state...ninja stars, enuf...said!
I missed this one, pahtna. I'm glad I came back to check it.
Ninja Stars???? She must've made them from paper or something. Some third grade origami project or something.
@miz: i laugh sometimes when i think about it.
@mp1: of all the things she could have said...she says ninja stars. unbelievable.
Ninja stars??? I carry those in my purse daily. I never know when I need them. LOL what a gem!
OK...that was just tooooooo damn funny!!! Ninja stars! OMG!
Thnx for a great mid-morning chuckle!
"doesn't seem to have a modicum of truth..." ha ha ha ha
And Ninja stars? WTF! Assuming she actually has some ninja stars, how was she able to get them so quickly as to be able to toss them at her father at the bottom of hte stairs? A man his size should be able to take that fall and get up and keep it moving. She's CRAZY, yet funny.
I guess if you ever get writer's block you can always call this fool for inspiration or at least a good laugh. I'd appreciate if you kept her as a friend so that I can read more ridiculous untruths ...
@minerva: i laugh everytime i read / retell this story.
@diva: glad her lies made your morning a little lighter.
@rungirl: welcome and thanks for commenting. that's the only reason i keep her around--so i can hear more lies and get more stories.
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