I Got the Hook Up

When I went downstairs this morning after a rather event less night, the living room carpet, kitchen and bathroom were soaked. I discovered that some kinda way the toilet downstairs had sprung a leak. Where the toilet meets the ground--you know where the caulking is--there was a steady stream of water just running out. Talk about freak occurrences. I called the maintenance emergency line and after about 20 minutes they sent someone. Did those m effas hear me say "emergency"? I left while ole boy did his thizzle to fix the problem. By the way, I was expecting the regular maintenance dude but instead I got a white boy who looked like he had just done meth or was on his way for a hit as soon as he finished.

I'm out doing the Saturday morning errand thing. I dropped my car at the car wash. Call me old fashioned, but I don't do those AutoBell type car washes. No machines on my fiberglass. Only real live hands can get near it. When I got out the car these two workers approached me trying to get me to have my car compounded which costs like $150-200. I was like not for that price. I've been getting along just fine. I mean, the car was in desperate need of a makeover, but I just hadn't planned on putting that kind of money into it today just on a random Saturday errand trip. We negotiated on a flat rate of $100 to do the job. He did a little test area on the trunk for me before I decided to let him do his thing. I was pleased with that so I got him to do it for me. I walked about three blocks to the barber shop.

When I got there it was thick as it was Saturday morning, but luckily my barber only had the guy whose hair he was cutting in front of me. After my barber brought sexy back, I went to the ATM (still walking) to get the cash I was gonna need to pay the dude working on the car. Understand that I got from the tone of the two dudes' voices and the fact that they pulled me to the side that this was going to be some under the table/side hustle type stuff. When he was finished with the car, I asked just to be sure if I was supposed to pay him or the guy at the cash register. He told me to pay him and to just get in the car. Mind you, the dude behind the cash register is now outside with us watching this go down. I'm sure he suspected that his coworker was involved in something unscrupulous because he had been watching Mr. Compound work on one car for about three hours and dude behind the counter knows how much money it costs for that service. He knew that no one had been in to pay for that type of service, so I'm sure the sum of those circumstances raised his ire. Anyway, I got in the car thinking to myself, "I'm taking orders from a stranger. This has got to be illegal." Before I got in the car I had made a motion to take the money out. That's when he told me to get in the car and he'd get it from the other side. Again, I'm thinking that this is weird because he's orchestrated how to complete this transaction without seeming, in his mind, suspicious. I laid the money on the space between the gear shift and the arm rest where the ashtray is and he was wiping down the exterior of the car. He opened the door like he was wiping down the interior of the car and swiped the cashed, asked me if I was pleased with his work, I said yeah and he kept it moving. I drove off quite amused knowing that I had participated in this deception. The realism is, though, that the car looked 346,764.92 times better than when I took it in there.

I grabbed something to eat from K&W. The couple in front of me looked kinda sad. They were black and had about five children, one of whom was in a carrying thing (I can't remember the name, but you know what I'm talking about). Ole dude ordered multiple entrees for his plate. K&W is ala carte like Picadilly or Morrison's or whatever they have in your neck of the woods. Back home my living room had been totally rearranged (read: messed up). The maintenance dude moved stuff to one side of the room revealing the poor job I had done of vacuuming regularly. There's also this blower down there that is supposed to be helping the carpet dry faster. They moved my table and chairs in the dining area as well. I wonder if they expect me to move that stuff back or if they plan to move it back when they come pick up that fan.

A friend of mine I'm sure is quite upset with me because I wouldn't take any of her calls yesterday. Sometimes you're just not in the mood to talk. Nothing personal.

I'm a visual learner so here are pics of the whip and my ransacked living area. I threw in an extra. The last one is of my immediate family at Christmas. You finally get to see him*. At this time he's blind and a double amputee.





Left to right
1st row: My younger brother and him
2nd row: My older sis, my mom and myself - Don't I look like I don't belong? I was uncomfortable because I really don't do him and don't like to be in his presence for extended periods of time. By the way in this pic I'm around 145 lbs. down from the 171. Now I'm at 140. I'm not going much further.