Real Life

Don'tcha just love it when people gas you up and then don't come through? When I went to the job fair a couple of weekends ago, everything seemed positive and a go. I had three schools who seemed genuinely interested, but not a one has phoned me to set up an interview. Two told me that they would schedule the interviews during my spring break which is going on now, although I feel like it's already over. I guess I should phone them, but I don't wanna seem beat. I know I need the job and not them, but I'm not accustomed to having to run somebody down.

I know there are a lot of candidates and some might even be more qualified than me. I typed that, but I find it hard to believe given the extra curricular and leadership experiences that I have had at my current school. The realism is that I don't think many people my age have been trusted to do what I have.

A friend of mine told me that she had a prophetic word for me. I thought to myself, oh brother. Here we go. She assured me that someone would contact me by Tuesday to set something up. Believe you me, I didn't believe her and that in no way contributed to me feeling some type of way about them. She must have studied prophecy the same place as Juanita Bynum.(I know I was wrong for that).

Alas, I'ma put in some calls today to try to secure some interviews. This is so different from me. I am accustomed to being pursued after the initial contact rather than having to be the one in hot pursuit. That translates to other facets of my life as well, but that's another post.

I did something nice last night. I went to dinner with some friends. On the way out of the restaurant I saw the hostess looking over some PowerPoint slides. I asked her what she was studying. What do you know? She was studying accounting and one in our party is an accountant at a bank. I introduced them and had them exchange contact information. The friend who is an accountant asked if I even knew that girl. I told her no, but I'm Captain Save-A-Hoe it doesn't matter. She's graduating soon and you already have a job. If there's an opening you all have enough time to get to know each other between now and then so that if she's okay, you can let her use your name as a reference (assuming her name is worth something to the company). I need every one's help. I cannot single handedly uplift my race by myself. Every time you are in a position to refer someone for employment or a good deal or whatever, I implore you to do so.

I almost forgot about my brother. Question: Why did he get my mother* to get him a loan for school and then quit school as soon as the loan came through? Answer: He's a trifling negro, that's why. Meanwhile my mother has to pay for the loan. She asked him what he was planning to do as far as payment and his reply was he hadn't thought about it. He's also planning to move to Jacksonville in May with his wife who is supposed to be going to law school. When I met her at the wedding she didn't seem that smart to me and I'm usually a good read when it comes to stuff like that. I smell smarts like a bee smells honey. (Like my 4th grade analogy?) Anyway, she graduates from college May 10th and they plan to be in Jacksonville to move in on May 12th. Notice I haven't mentioned where he'll work or live because he doesn't know and neither do I. When my sister called me (really to ask me to borrow $$$ - which I gave her the brush off) to ask me how I felt about it I told her that I have hot water and thoroughly enjoy the advantages that electricity provides. If he's willing to move not knowing where he's going to lay his head then let him do him cause umma do me. I could go on and on about this situation but when I think too much about it I just wanna slap a ni-. See, he done almost made me resurrect the word we buried. I'ma let that go.

*You clicked the link didn't you? Get of my momma jock stalker!

Preachers Gone Wild

I guess it's time for me to weigh in on what has happened. In case you live in the back woods, renowned prophetess* Juanita Bynum was assaulted by her estranged husband. According to the reports that I have read she and her husband were having dinner at a restaurant near Hartsfield Jackson in Atlanta. (Well really it's in College Park, but you know what we're saying.) Somewhere along the way they had a discussion that apparently got kinda heated and outside the restaurant/hotel (not clear on which one) her husband, Bishop Thomas Weeks III (yes I put the whole government out there) hit choked, and stomped on her. The alleged assault continued until a bellman pulled him off her. Just a little more background. They got married in 2002 in a very lavish televised ceremony. He was already a bishop and she was already in heavy rotation in all the church markets (TBN/with Bishop Jakes/hosting her own empowerment conferences, one of her most famous ones is "No More Sheets").

Apparently a while back Weeks told his congregation that there was trouble in paradise and Juanita would be having a less active role in the ministry. Basically if she came to church she would be holding down a pew instead of preaching.

Several things come to mind about this situation. Is he jealous of her success? I would argue that she is leaps and bounds more popular than he is. I have heard a rumor that the reason that they were separated in the first place is that Juanita questioned some of the close relationships he has with some of the male members of the congregation. Did she call him a faggot and is that when he beat the sh*t out of her? Also, to stomp on someone is indicative of the passion with which you despise them.

At first he didn't turn himself in to the authorities. Now he has turned himself in, been released on bond and --get this-- has entered a NOT GUILTY plea. WTF? So let me get this straight, you jumped on her in a parking lot, and ole dude had to pull you off her and you want us to waste time and energy on a fuggin' not guilty plea? This negro better not use a self defense argument, lest I drive to Duluth and smack him myself.

I'm getting ready to make a confession. As I am a full participant of this capitalistic society I have already developed a plan to take this unfortunate set of circumstances and turn it into a huge money maker. You know how gullible and pliable church people are. I'm certain that my idea can work. I was even reading some stuff online where people were saying let's just pray for him and whatnot. They didn't feel like he needed to go to jail. He just needs prayer. Why can't we pray for him while he's in jail?

One thing that is significant for me is how people already have so much ought against preachers. For him to do this only reinforces some of the negative views that some people harbor. I can hear someone saying, "I might not go to church, but at least I don't beat my wife." On some levels they would be justified. How do you step to this person to convince them that church can make a difference for them? What people, particularly, those who wear the cloth have to be sensitive to is that they are being watched. If he causes droves of people to leave the church/terminate their active relationships with God, then their blood will be on his hands.

*prophetess: She's supposed to be able have information/potential events revealed to her by divine providence. She couldn't foresee that azz whoopin'?