I Made It

I made it to the D.C. area. I left today at about 12:00 noon and arrived around six. The traffic was to blame for that. I rented a U-Haul and a car trailer and put Jackie on the back and set sail. I did have a bump in the road. I hit a lady when I was about 25 miles from D.C. I wasn't paying attention and was trying to transact business on the cellie. She was gracious as was I. She was serious though like she gets in accidents all the time. She wanted a picture of my license and of course pictures of the damage. I told her I would get her my insurance information. I called my insurance company just to check to make sure that I would be covered. They said when based on the policy that I have if I rent a U-Haul I have liability coverage. I believe that means that the insurance company will cover damage to other vehicles for me. If anyone can verify this, that would be great.

I'm gonna try to catch some sleep. I checked my e-mail a little while ago and discovered that I would have to attend a meeting tomorrow (Saturday) at 10:00 a.m. Good thing I checked my e-mail. I need stuff to be more organized.

I'm not even 100% sure if my mother knows that I am already in the urrea (as Chris would say). I have been calling her cell and she hasn't answered or returned my calls. She's probably just busy. I'll try her tomorrow to let her know that I'm here. On second thought, I'll try her right now at 11:26 p.m. ring...ring....ring...ring....she picked up. Call disconnected at 11:28 p.m. I told her I'm here and that I'd call her tomorrow. She sounded really tired. I wonder how much longer....

This is so disjointed because I'm tired. I'll move in tomorrow after my meeting. Largo, Maryland is where I'll reside.

Apparently So

Every other black person who I've told about this past weekend (Thursday through Monday) seem to all ask me the same question. Do black people go camping. Well, since I'm black and I went along with some others, I guess the answer has to be a resounding yes. I was a camping virgin, but I actually had a great time. At first when some friends bought the idea to me, I did Diva's infamous ::sideeye:: because I was not really feeling giving up the Sealy Posturpedic in exchange for ingrown tree roots and gravel.

We went to Wally World to make preparations and purchases. As God would have it, we bumped into a black lady who was a camping expert. She told us everything that we needed to do. Oh I left this part out. Of the three guys, none of us had been camping before. She even took us to her car and gave us three checklists of stuff to bring and directions to a local camping site. The place was only about 1.5 hours away. So, we had no camping experience and didn't even know where we were going to go to camp. I'm so glad we ran into Marcia for two reasons. One, she was able to share her wisdom about camping with us. She absolutely loves it. That totally came across while she was speaking. ::Sidebar::While I was listening to her--the passion with which she spoke about camping, I kept thinking to myself that she should start a business. I told her that. She told me that her father had been trying to get her to do that for a while now. I told her that my being a complete stranger and delivering to her the same message was confirmation of the vision. Habbukah, baby.::end sidebar::The second reason I'm glad we ran into her is that it reassured me about the feasibility of this whole endeavor. Prior to hearing her share her positive experiences and give us tricks-of-the-trade, I was still kinda leery about going. When we parted with her I was kinda hype.

So we arrive on Thursday around three in the afternoon and pitch the tent. The setup with quite simple. I had no idea that the tent was just one piece of material sewn together. For some reason I thought we were going to have to put on multiple pieces, but whatever.

That night we previewed the hiking trails and came back to fix something to eat. During the time there we ate chicken breasts, pork chops, hamburgers, zucchini and yellow squash. One night we took the chicken breasts, zucchini and yellow squash and put it in some foil with some Italian dressing. Banging! Here's a fire from one night with some food on the grill.

The next morning we went on a 4.5 mile hike that took us across the summit of a mountain. Yes, we went all the way up the mountain and back down again. Fortunately, for me and everyone else, while in the woods, I didn't see any bright eyes.

In this picture, notice the sign. Almost a mile high. I know that's nothing for a mountain, but I had to show proof.


I decided to stage a fake rock climbing picture, just in case I wanted to revel friends and acquaintances with tales of danger. Notice the strain on the face.

At some point during the hiking trail we ran up on a waterfall.

Somewhere during the course of the stay we went fishing. I didn't catch anything, but Dre did. Trav caught two fish but threw them both back. No picture for that. Actually we went fishing twice. The second time we went fishing I saw a water moccasin. It came up to the edge of the pond and I assume turned back. I say assume because as soon as I saw it swimming my way I straightway dropped my rod and put Carl Lewis to shame. If he saw me running from the snake, he'd give back his medal.

On a lighter note, I did manage to snap some Bambis who were all up and through them woods.

One night out there we ran into the lady from WalMart. We knew she was going to be at the same camping site because she mentioned it in the store. She invited us to dinner one night. We turned down the dinner invitation but agreed to come back for dessert. She made a strawberry cobbler. She was with two others. We all sat around the campfire laughing and telling tales. Good times indeed. Marcia asked us if we had made smores. I told her no and she absolutely insisted that we have some smores. They were a bit sweet, but at least I can say I've had them.

Somewhere during the camping adventure my phone got messed up. No one knows what happened. I've been in negotiations with Sprint for two days. My new phone should arrive by Friday. The whole Sprint fiasco is another blog post unto itself. After looking at my phone, they said they weren't sure if they'd be able to fix it. I was flabbergasted. Look at that picture. Does it look like I was interested in a repair? I've caught up on a few blogs. I should be making the rest of my rounds today.

I can say that this was fun for me. I'll do it again. Now I want to go ahead and cross some more stuff off my list. I need to skydive, hang glide and ski. Anybody wanna go?

Job Search

I'm in my hotel bed waiting until the sleep dragon overtakes me so that I can count sheep. I came to the A yesterday in preparation for a job fair that I attended today. When I got to the site the line was the longest line I had ever seen. I got there about 8:35 a.m., but originally planned to go around 10:00ish. I'm glad I didn't stick to that. It took me about an hour to actually get in the door.

It was held in the gym of The New Schools at Carver, herein after referred to as simply Carver. I spoke with a rep from Carver. After exchanging pleasantries she asked me some canned teacher-type interview questions about classroom management and differentiated instruction. I fielded her questions with ease and confidence. What got me was what all they expect you to do at this school. First of all there's a mandatory staff meeting each week for about an hour and a half. In addition, there's a requirement that you tutor at least once a week for an hour after school. Further, they want to see me do a 45 minute lesson before they will hire me.

Mind you she had a copy of my resume. I felt like on the strength of that alone the 45 minute sample lesson was insulting. Without boring you to tears, suffice it to say that I have on there all the stuff that a good instructor would put on there to demonstrate their competence and propensity to consistently deliver results. (Explicit language advisory. Reader discretion is advised.)Fuck the dumb shit. I'm not doing all that. When I thought about it later I felt like she tried to chump me. She seemed very positive, but I'm not feeling having to stay after so much or having to jump through any hoops.

I got to speak to someone at Grady, which is the top public high school in Atlanta. That went well and they seem very interested as well as Crim Open Campus. I'm really feeling Crim because of the way their schedule is set up. Every 45 days you get a new set of kids. Teach three classes a day and call it. With 45 days, you don't even have time to get sick of them before you're getting a new set. At Grady they have a modified block schedule. That means they might have 1st, 3rd and 5th period one day and 2nd, 4th and 6th the next and keep alternating back and forth. That's okay, but I"m not feeling having to grade 6*30 kids' papers for the whole school year.

I have to apply to professional standards to get my teaching certificate switched over to Georgia. Will jump on that on Monday. I'm tired now. I went out last night knowing I had to be at the fair early this (technically yesterday) morning. I had a good time last night. I learned how to do this line dance about stomping with the right and left and cha-chaing and backin' it up and stomping. Not sure what it's called. Going to bed now.

Continued

Day 3 - So now it's Saturday. My first session started at 8:15 a.m. I woke up around 7:48 (kinda weird how I remember times so exactly) and got dressed. I walked out my room at 8:15 headed to the session. Nothing to report from the sessions. I started getting antsy around 5ish and called Michelle to see where she was. I called twice and got no answer. If I call you twice and don't get an answer, you're as good as left. I hopped on the train to run a few errands around town. I needed some shampoo and stuff like that. At some point she called to see where I was and was disappointed that I "left her." I told her that I called twice, but she said she didn't get the calls. While I was out I saw this older black guy on the street passing out campaign flyers in support of Hillary Clinton. The other people on the street to whom he offered the flyers were quite disrepectful to this man. Some even went so far as to curse him out because he was supporting the candidate of his choice. The people were making derogatory remarks about him and insisted that he was supporting the wrong candidate. I need to mention that the people acting up like this all looked like me, just so that you can paint that mental picture of the scene.

I was still tired from the night before but agreed to an area called the West End to grab a bite to eat. I thoroughly enjoyed my meal. Prior to arriving at the restaurant there were a whole lot of people trying to hustle stuff on the streets--flowers, horse rides, candy and food. It was unreal. I can't recall how many times I said no that night. Since I was already beat when we got back to the hotel I just crashed for the night.

Day 4 -Michelle left this morning. It's Sunday. What does any good Baptist boy do on Sunday mornings? You guessed it. I went to church. I looked up a couple of churches on a black church directory website but then I remembered about the Potter's House under the effacious leadership of the renowned Bishop T.D. Jakes. I called a cab to take me. It was almost $30 one way. I went ahead and did it since I don't know when the next time is that I'll ever return to Dallas. The cab driver was wildin'. He was going off because he said the bellmen downstairs wouldn't give him the "good" trips like to the airport or the Galleria Mall where he would make $30-40 one way. The bellman approached the window once I was inside the cab and asked the cab driver if he had a number. I wasn't clear on what they were talking about, but I did know that he wasn't really asking him for a number. Those cabs are out there every single day. Why would he not already know the numbers to all the cab services who frequent the hotel? The cab driver later explained to me that it was code to ask if he intended on bribing the bellman to get one of the good jobs. The cab driver shared with me that he was Muslim and participating in any form of bribery is against his religion. I told him it wasn't necessarily bribery so much as it is the way business is transacted in a capitalistic society. If you want preferrential treament, you pay a premium. People who fly first class are not bribing Delta for the good seats; they are paying the cost.

Once I arrived at the church there was a seemingly never ending flow of people from teh church to the parking lot. It looked like a number that no man could number*. I got there in between services. I had to wait about 30 minutes before the next service began. The service was pretty good although Bishop Jakes didn't preach. He hurt his back in the earlier service so they just showed the DVD of him preacing from the earlier service. The guy who was MCing the service was pretty funny.

Day 5 - I woke up Monday knowing that this was my last day in town and realized that I hadn't done any of the tourist stuff. I went to the infamous grassy knoll and the book depository from where the shot that killed JFK allegedly came. The grassy knoll area is so small. I thought it was going to be the expansive space, but it's really not. I went downtown to another mall and this guy who was selling on the street directed me to some other touristy (I made that up) stuff that in which I might be interested. When I made it in that night a friend of mine who I had called earlier in the day called me back to let me know he actually was coming into Dallas for a few days. I wish he would have arrived sooner, but alas. We kept missing each other, but we met up later that night for drinks. The time got away from us and I drug my tired azz back to my hotel knowing that when I awoke I'd have to pack and start the process of getting back to the boro.

My luggage didn't arrive with me and I just got it this morning around 12:48 a.m. from the delivery service. I had to bum a ride to work yesterday. On top of that the friend who was supposed to take me home didn't come through. To say I was pissed would be the understatement of the decade. I know in friendship and relationships we don't do things to keep score, but the one time I actually need you you don't come through. That does not a happy James make. Although she knew in advance that I needed her to pick me up she texted me on the day I was to return to town to tell me that she had a meeting. Not even a phone call--a text. I can forgive her, but it's gonna cause me to pull back. Not that I'm out for vengance, but she better not need anything anytime soon.

*There's a prize for the first person who can tell me who made that statement.

Wheh!

I made it back last night and like I said in the previous post I was too tired to write. I just got out of a meeting a school and now I can share.

Day 1 - I left work and went home to get my bags. I decided to carpool with a female colleague. She drove. Mistake #1. She was late getting to my house to get me. We had to drive about an hour to the airport because the tickets were $140 cheaper to fly out of Raleigh as opposed to Greensboro. I like to save money when I can. If the tickets had only be $50-60 cheaper, then I would have paid the extra $$ to fly from Greensboro. Anywho, like I said she was late getting me. Once we got on the highway I was nervously watching the speedometer noticing that she was hovering around 60 miles per hour. In a fit of desperation I finally blurted out that we were not going to make it to the airport in time to catch the flight (foreshadowing - remember that from ninth grade English?) if we kept up this pace. She sped to about 70. I was thinking wow you're really going fast now. It was at this point that she shared with me that there was something wrong with her transmission and she couldn't go very fast. I'm thinking the transmission. That's major. If you had said that before we left, I would have gladly driven. Please understand that I don't like to ride with people because I trust myself and my automobile more than other people's stuff because I maintain my vehicle. No shade tree mechanics. I take my ride to the dealership.

When we made it to the airport we went to the self check in kiosks and we couldn't check in without assistance. I knew what that meant. We were too late. Of course that's the message that the people behind the desk communicated to us. The flight we were scheduled to be on was the last flight leaving out that day on Northwest. We checked other airports and other hubs to see if we could fly to another hub and catch a connection to Dallas. No such luck. They wouldn't put us on another airline either. The best they could do is offer us the first flight the next day. Meanwhile I had a hotel reservation in Dallas for Thursday night because the conference was starting early Friday morning. Before I finally accepted that I wasn't going to Dallas on Thursday without coming out my pocket to just buy another ticket I pulled out all the stops. Usually I can convince people to be sympathetic to my plight--especially if the person is a woman. If I do say so myself, I can be very charming and persuasive. Imagine my surprise when exhausting every ploy and tool in my bag of tricks she still had not agreed to put me on another airline so that I could get to Dallas Thursday night. She gave us the "distress passenger" coupon for a nearby hotel so we just crashed in Raleigh waiting on the flight for the next day. We got something to eat. My colleague was so apologetic; she didn't want me to talk shit about her. She was like please don't be mad at me. I told her if I were mad you would know. I'm not usually really good at hiding my emotions--a flaw that I sometime manipulate to be advantageous for me.

Both of us were hungry so we caught the hotel shuttle to get a bite. On the ride the dude was taking us on all these back roads with no streetlights. I'm thinking to myself and then I asked her--let's call her Michelle--why are there no streetlights? What is he doing? My mind started thinking about how he could be taking us to a secluded area to slaughter us or something terrible like that. It was at the point that I decided if I didn't soon see some civilization that I was going to open the door and jump out. I was not comfortable because I just had an erie feeling. And the dude wasn't talking to us. I mean, he could have been tired or whatnot, but there's nothing wrong with being pleasant and making small talk if to do nothing more but put people at ease. Eventually we made it back home and crashed.

Day 2 - We woke up around 5 a.m. to be at the airport by 6:15 because our flight was scheduled to depart at 7:10 a.m. I checked my bag and had a carry on. I thought they had relaxed the liquid rules at the airport but apparently I was mistaken. They told me I could go back downstairs and check my carry on if I didn't want them to throw away all my stuff. I tried to do that but it was too late to check any more bags by the time I got down there so I ended up having to go back through security and still got all my stuff thrown away. The flight was uneventful. We had a connection in Memphis so I got to try the infamous Corky's since they had a little place in the airport. I had a pulled pork barbecue sandwich that was decent. When we finally landed in Dallas we caught the train to the hotel. There's a tunnel that leads from the train station to the hotel. Absolutely ingenious and so ultra convenient. If you clicked the link you see the tall structure with the ball up top? I'll pause while you look if you didn't already. Okay, now that you have the visual, I wanted to go in there but it was closed for renovations. It's one of those revolving restaurant deals where you can get a panoramic view of the skyline. I chose the hotel in part because of this. I feel like they need to make an announcement on the hotel web page to say that the tower is closed so that people will at least be aware and possibly make another choice of hotel.

When I got to the hotel I was waiting in the line for Gold Passport members. The front desk clerk made the asinine move mistake of taking the next customer in line before calling me. I wasn't having it. I let her know that I wasn't confused about where I was standing and that I am in fact a GPM and would like to be treated as such. She apologized profusely and got me straight with my room. I appreciated that. You should have seen the indignant looks on the Caucasian people's faces who I was taken in front of. For a night at a hotel you can use MasterCard. For the look on their faces when I was shown preferential treatment--priceless.

Before I checked in we jumped right into the conference sessions. The stuff that people were presenting was so substandard. I was encouraged because I know that I can do a presentation if that's all that is required. Of course I wouldn't be half azz when I do a presentation because it has my name on it, but for what I saw it appears that anyone who signed up to present was afforded the opportunity.

That night we went to a club called Purgatory. I didn't know the name of the club until we had been inside for probably an hour. I ordered a long island from the bar but didn't like it. I don't waste liquor because it's expensive in the club, but I threw it away. Had a good time. Kinda felt like college days. I stumbled home good and sweaty around 4:40 a.m. Of course we had sessions on Saturday morning beginning at 8:15 a.m. When I got back to the hotel Michelle had already left the club and was asleep. We shared a room, but not a bed. I slept on the roll away and let her have the bed, even though I'm the GPM among us.

So I'm actually leaving out a part of the story. I started not to write this part, but I may as well be truthful. I left the club about 2:00 with this girl I met inside. We walked to another club in the area but left after a few minutes. We were both feeling fresh and feeling each other. Yeah so you see where this is going. When it was over I called a cab from her spot and that's when I stumbled in the room at 4:40 a.m. subsequent to me getting my rocks off. By the way, ole girl has an oral ability that should be studied. I would rank her in my top three seriously.

This is turning into a lot....I'll do days three through five tomorrow.

Tired

I'm gonna write about the events of my trip to Dallas probably tomorrow after work. I just got back and I'm just too tired to sit down and put anything together.

I have a conference to go to in Dallas. I'm still home but my flight leaves in under 2 hours. I thought about changing from my work clothes to some jeans, but for some reason when I'm dressed in a tie things at the airport jsut seem to go more smoothly for me. Sometimes I get picked for the "random" search, but as I reflect, I've never been picked for the psuedorandom search when I was dressed in slacks. Does anyone know anywhere in Dallas I can get in some trouble? If I do happen do anything interesting while I'm there I'll be sure to share.

Even in 2007?

I had been going through some financial stuff and whatnot. When I was able to recover from the issue, I decided to take myself a little trip to unwind. This was in December of 2007 around the 20th. I went to the city of brotherly love. I didn't really know anyone, except a couple of homeboys from college, but that wasn't really my purpose. I hit them up so that we could hang out while I was there, but my main purpose was just to chill and unwind. I stayed at a decent spot while I was there. I'm actually a gold passport member, so I collect points and get discounts when they offer promotions.

The second day of my stay I decided to go to
Ms. Tootsie's. You know, that's one of the restaurants the queen of television spoke about on one of her shows. If Oprah puts her seal of approval on it, then you know it's bonafide. Remember when she said something about not eating beef and some of the heavys from the beef industry sued her for lost profits? I enjoyed what I ate. When it was over I wanted to stroll down South Street and check out the scene before returning home. At some point it got a little wet and messy. I tried unsuccessfully to hail a cab for about 20 minutes. 20 freakin' minutes.

I thought that perhaps the reason that the cab drivers weren't stopping was because I wasn't doing it right. Maybe I should have been flailing my arms in a left to right motion instead of up and down. I'm not exactly a city slicker. Being a good ole country boy I thought that my cab hailing ability left something to be desired, as hailing cabs is not a valued skill in the south because everyone has a car. Anyway, no one would stop. Meanwhile the drizzle has turned to light rain. I start the trek back to my hotel. I ran up on some dudes hustling cds on the street. I asked them why the cab drivers wouldn't stop for me. They told me that there had recently been a series of cab driver murders committed by individuals who looked like me.

Let me describe my appearance. I looked like an Express model, minus the height. Loafers, jeans, sweater, light bubble jacket. Clearly not threatening. And it's not like I have dreads or anything that people associate with a threatening black man. I'm clean cut, small framed and well attired. Still these m effas wouldn't stop for me. So I'm still just walking back to my hotel. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

That's RACIST like a mug!! Here I am staying at the fuckin' Hyatt Regency looking like an Express model (I'll throw in articulate--you know how white people say that like it's a compliment that you can use the King's English) and these peeps won't give me a ride that I'm willing to pay for back to my hotel. I wasn't headed to the projects or the rough side of town, but they wouldn't even stop so that I could tell them where I was going. They simply saw my outer shell and opted to keep it moving. I guess they don't need money that bad.

Other than that I had a good time just unwinding and chilling. I met some interesting people one night on the street. (Don't ask). Suffice it to say that I've never met a stranger.

New Orleans

On Wednesday, July 11, I got up a little after 4 am to make my way to the airport for my 6 o'clock flight. I got there at about 5:37 and was told it was too late to check my bags so they would have to be checked once I passed through security. I had to actually leave them in the jetbridge(you know that long corridor that you walk down to get to the plane itself) and they took them from there. The flight was cool, but we caught the airport shuttle to our hotel. We were in town for a conference of about 8,000 people. Of course everyone else was trying to catch the shuttle as well. AFter about two hours of waiting and flaring tempers we finally were able to hop on a shuttle so we could check into our hotel.

***********************************************

(don't you love when they do that in books to mean time has passed?)

We head to the convention center for the opening session. When I left the opening session I went to this place called
Mother's Restaurant. I thought it was pretty cool. From there I went on a haunted history tour where I got to see parts of the French Quarter under realtively calm conditions.

The next day after the sessions I saw the new Harry Potter movie and then joined my party for a meal at a restaurant in the French Quarter. We left the restaurant and headed to Bourbon Street. I can just imagine how wild it is during Mardi Gras. We went in this one bar and Mark paid for the waitress to deliver me a shot. Why did the waitress also double as a stripper?!! She started grinding on me and took two tubes that contained the shots (like test tubes) inserted them in her mouth and went back and forth a couple of times (so you know what it looked like) bent me back and them put the opening in my mouth while I drank them. Let me find out that everytime you order something, it comes with a quick lap dance! We continued on Bourbon street and then hit Harrah's casino. Played a hand of black jack, listened to the other people at the table (so not like me to listen to others but I'm trying to be more receptive to other people's ideas because I typically disregard what other people have to say) and lost the hand. I decided that the casino was not for me so I left.

On Friday I went to Emeril's for lunch and wound back up at the casino. This time I played the slots and won a couple dollars. When I played the video poker machines I won over $100. I cashed out and left. We did a river boat cruise and then headed back to Bourbon Street. We hung out on Bourbon for a few hours and then went to sleep since was had to catch the shuttle in the moring at 7:30 a.m.

In my haste to pack my bags Saturday morning, I inadvertently left the valet key to my car and my headphones in the top drawer in the room. Of course I didn't remember utnil I got to the airport. I called the hotel and let them know and they packed my stuff and mailed it out that day. When I got the airport back home I called a locksmith to open my car for me. He got it open, but charged me more because of the type of car (Jaguar Vanden Plas). I checked the armrest for my keys when I remembered that I locked them in the glove box and the only way for me to get in the glove box is with the key that's somewhere between the SpringHill Suites Convention Center and here. I started to rent a car but Ms. Lee got me to wait a day before renting it so that I wouldn't have to pay any extra money, especially since I'll have to pay like $50 to get me car out of long term parking at the airport once the key does finally arrive.

Overall the trip was straight. I just hate that I left that key. THe realism is that sometimes s*#t happens.

A Trip

So I'm back from the ATL. I hung out with a friend of mine and one of her friends last night. It was really good to see members of my family. Even people from the side of the family that I don't fool with showed up. The interesting part is I didn't hear any cursing, arguing and there wasn't a fight. Score one for civilized family members. (I guess years of drug abuse and the ensuing health related issues has a subduing effect on ya.)

The wedding took place at a park under a gazebo. It was quaint. The ceremony was no more than 20 minutes although it started about 45 minutes late. Someone left the veil for the dress and they had to go back to retrieve it. After the ceremony why did I have to carry my chair from the gazebo to the reception hall. Everything took place on the grounds of the park but the trek to the building where we ate had to be 1/2 mile away from the gazebo. Now don't get me wrong. I can use some exercise. It's just that I've never been somewhere as a guest where I had to B.Y.O.C. (bring your own chair)!! The minister said none of the ladies should be carrying chairs and he urged the men to carry the chairs.

Why do people make those statements? My gender has absolutely nothing to do with what I "should" be doing. People are so stuck in gender roles. At the end of the day, how you treat people is all that really matters. Alas, I digress. Anyway, is there going to be a new rule that says everyone should travel with a folding chair and a folding table in their trunk? After all you never know when you'll get an invitation that says B.Y.O.C. / B.Y.O.T.

At some point after the reception was pretty much over and people had begun to make their way back home or elsewhere, there was this girl who said I reminded her of Bobby Valentino. I don't really see it. The only things we have in common are that we are short, have black hair and are both brown skinned. The crazy part is that I had been joking with my cousins earlier about how the paparazzi was stalking me. Most of them were outside when the girl was talking to me. She then asked me for a picture to show to her friends or whatnot. When she walked off I was like "Damned paparazzi!"

My cousins were in disbelief. Of course I acted like this sort of thing happened all the time. I found one of the people who was helping out at the wedding and asked who the girl was and who was checking the guest list because, of course, I didn't feel like the paparazzi stalking me....I continued on that lil paparzzi tirade for a little while.

Another interesting thing that was a trip was that my brother's new wife didn't approach my mother at the table to speak. Oh what a tangled web we weave said the spider to the fly. I'll keep ya posted on what happens next. They did eventually speak to each other but only when we were leaving as the young lady galavanted around the room talking to her friends and others, but never once walked her azz over to my mother to say cat, dog, bye---NOTHING! That is not a good sign, especially since that was my first time meeting her. When I introduced myself, as I could tell she had not intentions of approaching me, I gave her a hug and told her that I was Eric's older brother. She was like I know you. I had to correct her. She only knows of me. I think T.I. put it quite eloquently when he said, "Pussy nigga yown know me!" The realism is, she's in for a rude awakening if she pulls another stunt like that. She earned two strikes on the same day.

This is completely unrelated, but I hate when people volunteer me for something without asking me first. Even if I'm available, the fact that you volunteer me without clearing it first virtually ensures that I will not do whatever it is you volunteered me to do.