They Done Had Me Stretch Out

I am so glad today is Saturday. That's because most of the stuff that has had me so busy at work is now over. This past week we had two days of stuff for the graduating seniors. As senior class advisor I am responsible for making sure things run smoothly. **Disclaimer**This may bore you to tears, so feel free to skip this post. Since this stuff is over now though, I'm back in full effect in the blog world effective today.**
Thursday: The first event that morning was the senior breakfast/yearbook signing. I wanted to do a plated meal (eggs, bacon, sausage, grits, biscuits, fruit), but I felt that the quotes that I received were too pricey. The catering companies that I spoke with basically told me I was out of touch. I wanted to do a breakfast for 250 people for $800. One guy even laughed at me on the phone. Before looking for catering companies I tried to get Biscuitville to sponsor the breakfast. In true JayBee form, I waited until the eleventh hour and it was too late for them to sponsor the event. You have to contact them 60 days prior to the event. I called them the week before. I started to cancel the breakfast altogether. Since the administrator had already announced to the kids that we were having a breakfast, I had to get something together to save face. So, I ordered 280 sandwiches (McMuffins® and biscuits) from Micky D's. I topped that off with some juice, water, fruit and danishes. From there we routed them to the auditorium to hear a speaker. The speaker didn't show until much later. At our school the students wear SMOD (Standard Mode of Dress). We do khakis and royal blue/goldenrod/white polo style shirts. Because today was senior day some of them decided to show up in jeans or in the case of some of the females, booty shorts. Not on my watch. I wouldn't let them in the cafeteria to eat breakfast because they were in noncompliance with the rules. A group of girls did slip in with the booty shorts on, but when one of my coworkers alerted me that they had infiltrated the ranks I quickly found and removed them. The assistant principal made all the boys in jeans get on the risers on the stage in the auditorium to lead us in the school song. Straight Lean On Me style. It was so funny. The guys were up there strategizing for real and rearranging each other and warming up and stuff. They asked another guy in the audience to play for them and they sang Lean On Me. This did not embarrass them because a lot of these dudes are the popular guys anyway (athletes, band members, step team, etc.). It was sooo funny. Next we did senior superlatives. Some of the categories were not your standard "Best Dressed" and "Most Likely to Succeed." We had stuff like:

• Most Likely to Use Their Medicaid Card As Cash
• Most Likely to be Confused at Graduation
• Biggest Gossip
• Most Likely to be Married More Than Once

As you can imagine the kids had a ball with this. We had some business to attend to in the auditorium and then we dismissed for lunch on their own. They were told to reconvene in the auditorium at 2:30 p.m. The speaker was able to make it for this portion. I arranged for them to hear a presentation about money management. I wanted them to learn something about managing their credit. At 3:30 we had capping ceremony practice. This lasted until about 5:15 and then the kids came out for the picnic. In the background while the stuff was going on in the auditorium, I had to leave the school to go to SAMS to pick up the food for the picnic. I enlisted the help on my third block class to help with the picnic and had two of them on call to go pick up last minute items as they crossed my mind. When I got to the exit that I needed to get off the highway to get to SAMS I realized I didn't have the check to pay for the food so I had to turn around and go back to the school to get the check. Blow action. Earlier that morning when I was taking the food out of the car for breakfast I twisted my knee. Blow action. The menu for the picnic was simple:

• hamburgers
• hot dogs (I don't eat them but other people do)
• assorted chips
• frozen fruit
• pickles
• cole slaw
• chili
• drinks
• cake
• ice cream sandwiches

The hamburgers were banging. The teacher I got to get on the grill did a great job. I actually rotated four people on the grill. I had the grill started at 3:00 because I wanted enough food for 200 people ready when the kids came down. We were only expecting about 250 or so, so I figured if I had at least enough for 200, by the time they got through the line we'd have the next batch off the grill. I had the hamburgers and hot dogs already put in buns and put in roasting pans so that they would just be able to request what they wanted, put on the condiments and keep it moving. I'm so glad my friend Tolana told me to do that. That was a great idea. We moved them through that line faster than the cafeteria does. Besides good eats, the kids could do volleyball, tug-of-war or play touch football. I had a dj because you know how we like to do. African Americans (blacks or whatever moniker you like--my preference is black) like to dance. I got this guy to donate a funeral tent so that we'd have some shade, but fortunately it was very nice out. The lady in the black is the ninth grade assistant principal.

In addition, the kids could play on the joust or the super obstacle course. Oh I almost forgot about the water ballon fight. When the balloons ran out the kids started filling up water bottles and throwing those at each other. They had a ball.
Friday: Today was the actual capping ceremony. I had to arrange some more last minute stuff. I needed to have the class president and vice president present tokens of appreciation to the senior administrator (the assistant principal for the senior class), principal, senior counselor, graduation coach and college advisor. I had a coworker pick up some flowers on her way to work and spoke with the pres and vice and let them know what was up. It went over well and looked like this had been the plan all along. My principal was under the impression that the class president didn't know that she had to speak at the program. I assured her that she knew and let her know that I saw and approved the final draft of her speech on May 21, 2008 at 5:34 p.m. My principal was like oh I didn't think she knew. I looked at her like who are you dealing with? My ma phucking name is JayBee and I ain't no bullsh@t. If it's gonna have my name anywhere on it, it's gotta be right. She should have known better. I'm not sure who told her that the girl didn't know. Probably somebody hating on me trying to find a way to make me seem inept. How terribly unsuccessful they were. Thankfully that's all over. That's pretty much what I've been doing for the last couple of weeks. Trying to plan these two events and make sure that everything was covered and in order. The last two major things I am going to do is take the seniors to a theme park and purchase a gift for the school. Any ideas on what we should leave as a class gift?