Saturday, March 29, 2008

Drop 'Em

I believe that there is value in being honest and transparent. I came to terms with something this weekend that I have never admitted before. My
best friend told me that I carried myself like this, but I was always dismissive of the assertion.

I was on the telephone with a friend talking about this whole job search thing. He was telling me not to worry, it'll work out, you know, the standard stuff. Somewhere in the middle of the conversation I just blurted out that when I walk in the room I expect draws to drop. I was driving at the time, but immediately after saying it in the atmosphere I was stunned and motionless. That's the first time I ever admitted to anyone that I might have a slight complex. I'm still not 100% sure what to call it, but it is something.

That's why this job thing has been bothering me so much. Heretofore I have not had to do very much to get stuff. God's favor has been with me. Now, I don't believe that I've somehow lost His favor, I just think that I'm realizing that everything is not going to just fall into my lap on the strength of favor. Just a little background so that you'll understand where this unwarranted sense of entitlement came from. I went to college on a full academic scholarship for which I did not apply. A recruiter came to my school and asked me if I was interested. I told him yes and the rest was history. I did fill out some paper work later, but he came to me. When I got my job I went to the Human Resources office and filled out an application and asked to speak to a hiring representative. We spoke briefly and she began to fawn over me (I thought she was going to orgasm) and immediately set up an interview for me with a principal who she thought I'd be perfect for. I went to the interview, got my references checked while I sat and was offered the job on the spot. That's what I expect. When I go places it doesn't matter what the policies are, sometimes, I'm able to fanagle my way around them and "sweet talk" people into bending the rules. Don't ask me why I do this or even why I'm able to. It's a gift I guess.

All that has put me where I am now. For the first time in my life things are not really moving at a pace that I like and I have absolutely NO control over that. This is definitely a different look for me, but it's for my growth and development. A part of my introspection and reflection has been to adopt and ascribe to the wisdom contained in the serenity prayer. I think this will be the last post that seems like I'm complaining about this whole job thing. The realism is I think I'm growing as a person inasmuch as I was able to admit the aforementioned to myself. Words really have power; it wasn't until I spoke those words in the atmpsphere, however crude as they were, that I accepted the fact that I like people to swoon over me. Maybe I'm just ego tripping.

I'll edit this later. I just needed to get it on paper--well you know what I mean.

10 comments:

Brittany said...

Just means your confident. I have to admit though...I hate it when things just "come easy" for some people.

Mizrepresent said...

Having confidence is a wonderful thing, and you have utilized it wisely (thus the fawning, lol and near orgasmic encounters)...but too much confidence can be an adherence. For a too confident person can't learn because they think they already know, can't grow, because they think they have already grown. You have what it takes to get the job you want, but there is always need for improvement, go back to the drawing board, try a different approach next time out...in other words, act like you hungry again. I think that your realizing this on your own was a definite eye-opener and can soon be that door opener you are looking for.

One Man’s Opinion said...

Well, I for one do not think you are complaining about your job situation. I think you are just venting, and that is always a good thing. Get it off your chest. Seems like you are keeping your head up, and that is a good thing. It'll happen when it happens. Now, if that's not the lamest thing I ever said, I don't know what is.

JayBee said...

@britt: why you gotta hate? lol

@miz: how do i act hungry without seeming desperate? i'm sure there's a way, but i can't be seeming like i need them (even though i do).

@one: even if you think it's lame, it's definitely true. i'll end my response with an equally lame quote: it is what it is.

Brittany said...

Ha!!

Jazzy said...

That's the confidence I was commented about on one of your other posts...you definitely have it, but it can make you appear cocky if you REALLY expect to have draws dropping just because you entered a room Jay. Glad you realize that things are not always going to come easy.

You do need to act slightly hungry and/or eager at a job interview...wishing you lots of luck!

Rell said...

Agreed with Mizrepresent, overconfidence is just as bad as no confidence. It's a fine line to tow...

cadence said...

Told you you had a problem! Well, admittance is the first step to recovery. The game has changed a bit because you are leaving lil' ol' Greensboro and going into the big city of ATL. This change in location will require a change in tactics. Yes, these new tactics may involve reaching out to recruiters. While it is true that you do have a personality that is hard to forget, imagine how many other candidates the recruiters are dealing with. Sorry to say this, but, even you might get lost in the mass of candidates. That is why there is nothing wrong with a little follow up. We're grown now and all that stubborn shit about 'you have to call me first' or 'come to me first' is lame. We don't have time for that. You want something...go out an get it, and work that charming personality!

In response to your question:
"How do I act hungry without seeming desperate?"

Well let me define the two adjectives:

Hungry: In this sense, think of it as "demonstrating interest". Take the recruiter's business card. Reach out to them. You can e-mail the standard 'thank you for the interview' e-mail (I must warn you that this can also get lost in the mix), or you can call. Mention that you are following up on your previous discussion and you are interested in learning more about the position. There is more to winning a position than just describing your professional experience during the interview.


Desperate: Calling every day to find out if anything has opened up, when you should call back...basically any form of stalking. They hate that.

JayBee said...

@cadence: you got a problem! naw, you're right. great advice. that's why i fuc@s with you.

cadence said...

anytime, brotha!