Monday, April 28, 2008

Forgive Me

Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I always mention it in causal conversation. I've threatened to do it before, but I was never serious. Today I actually went there. I can't believe I did it. She shouldn't have pushed my buttons. That's still no excuse. Maybe I'll apologize tomorrow. Maybe not. She kinda deserved it, but that still does not justify my behavior. I usually don't let things bother me, but she caught me at the wrong time. I guess it was just a matter of time before it happened. Words have power. Having romanticized it in the past, I gave life to that deplorable wont. On some level I'm ashamed. Though I carry myself with piety, my behavior today was sanctimonious. Inexcusable. Inexplicable. So out of character. It was like an out-of-body experience. Maybe the next time she'll keep her dang mouth shut, so that it won't happen again. Actually, no, that's the wrong way to look at it. I'm the only person who can control my behavior. It's really not her fault. I did it because I wanted to. The dragon within was incensed and awakened and spewed a venom so potent that she left like a wounded lamb. She almost had to be carried out. It was her brazeness that made it so harsh. I wonder what my supervisor is going to say.

Real post coming tomorrow I think.

12 comments:

Tabu said...

Wow, Can't wait for this one, I will keep you in my prayers too.

Mizrepresent said...

Dang, what did you do SMARTY? lol...whatever it is...i can't wait...an it seems like you've punished yourself enough. Enuf already!

ps. thanks about the pic!

Jazzy said...

She almost had to be carried out huh?

That must have been some tongue lashing.

I bet it felt great until you thought about the consequences though.

Brittany said...

That's deep. I wonder what happened.

Eb the Celeb said...

Uummm... what did you do?

magnoliapeach said...

Dang you read her from the left to the right?!
I hope everything works out for you!

Rashan Jamal said...

Are you sure that you want to be forgiven? Sounds like you are blaming her?

JayBee said...

@tabu: not really gonna post about it. my post is gonna be about something else.

@miz: i really do like the pic.

@diva: it kinda did. i knew i should have walked away, but once the flood gates opened the force with which they exited the damn was so great that it couldn't be withheld.

@mp1: not quite...but i said enough.

@eb: i'm gonna update this post with the info.

@magnolia: yeah me too.

@rashan: if she had've kept her mouth shut....naw i was wrong.

RunGirl. said...

You sound like a Tank song .. "It took everything in me not to put my hands on her ..." I hope you didn't.

Sheletha said...

ohhhhh...you gone get it.

JayBee said...

@rungirl: no hands.

@sheletha: so far, no backlash from the superiors.

Anonymous said...

that was way to tempting...all that and didn't even casually mention what you said?!?! How dare you! Lol...but for real, at least give us a hint! Nah, I won't get all in ya biz like that....I'm letting it go and walking away. Sigh, although my curiosity is definitely piqued.