Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I always mention it in causal conversation. I've threatened to do it before, but I was never serious. Today I actually went there. I can't believe I did it. She shouldn't have pushed my buttons. That's still no excuse. Maybe I'll apologize tomorrow. Maybe not. She kinda deserved it, but that still does not justify my behavior. I usually don't let things bother me, but she caught me at the wrong time. I guess it was just a matter of time before it happened. Words have power. Having romanticized it in the past, I gave life to that deplorable wont. On some level I'm ashamed. Though I carry myself with piety, my behavior today was sanctimonious. Inexcusable. Inexplicable. So out of character. It was like an out-of-body experience. Maybe the next time she'll keep her dang mouth shut, so that it won't happen again. Actually, no, that's the wrong way to look at it. I'm the only person who can control my behavior. It's really not her fault. I did it because I wanted to. The dragon within was incensed and awakened and spewed a venom so potent that she left like a wounded lamb. She almost had to be carried out. It was her brazeness that made it so harsh. I wonder what my supervisor is going to say.
Real post coming tomorrow I think.
whatever I interpret to be truth at the time given a specific set of circumstances from my vantage point. My intention is for this to be an online journal, but I may also discuss popular culture, all things related to black folks, legal cases and on rare occasion, politics. Straight no chaser.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Forgive Me
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12 comments:
Wow, Can't wait for this one, I will keep you in my prayers too.
Dang, what did you do SMARTY? lol...whatever it is...i can't wait...an it seems like you've punished yourself enough. Enuf already!
ps. thanks about the pic!
She almost had to be carried out huh?
That must have been some tongue lashing.
I bet it felt great until you thought about the consequences though.
That's deep. I wonder what happened.
Uummm... what did you do?
Dang you read her from the left to the right?!
I hope everything works out for you!
Are you sure that you want to be forgiven? Sounds like you are blaming her?
@tabu: not really gonna post about it. my post is gonna be about something else.
@miz: i really do like the pic.
@diva: it kinda did. i knew i should have walked away, but once the flood gates opened the force with which they exited the damn was so great that it couldn't be withheld.
@mp1: not quite...but i said enough.
@eb: i'm gonna update this post with the info.
@magnolia: yeah me too.
@rashan: if she had've kept her mouth shut....naw i was wrong.
You sound like a Tank song .. "It took everything in me not to put my hands on her ..." I hope you didn't.
ohhhhh...you gone get it.
@rungirl: no hands.
@sheletha: so far, no backlash from the superiors.
that was way to tempting...all that and didn't even casually mention what you said?!?! How dare you! Lol...but for real, at least give us a hint! Nah, I won't get all in ya biz like that....I'm letting it go and walking away. Sigh, although my curiosity is definitely piqued.
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